Anemoi Rain

This Will Be Short

2005-11-14T12:40:00.000+08:00

"When our depravity meets His Divinity, it is a beautiful collision"

- David Crowder

Bushisms

2005-08-24T12:19:00.000+08:00

These are the stupidest things President Bush has ever said. And you think this is bad? Try searching for videos of Bush circulating in the internet and maybe, just maybe, you'd learn to appreciate our very own President more.

10) "Families is where our nation finds hope, where wings take dream." -LaCrosse, Wis., Oct. 18, 2000

9) "I know how hard it is for you to put food on your family." -Greater Nashua, N.H., Jan. 27, 2000

8) "I hear there's rumors on the Internets that we're going to have a draft." -second presidential debate, St. Louis, Mo., Oct. 8, 2004

7) "You teach a child to read, and he or her will be able to pass a literacy test." -Townsend, Tenn., Feb. 21, 2001

6) "Too many good docs are getting out of the business. Too many OB-GYNs aren't able to practice their love with women all across this country." -Poplar Bluff, Mo., Sept. 6, 2004

5) "There's an old saying in Tennessee - I know it's in Texas, probably in Tennessee - that says, fool me once, shame on - shame on you. Fool me - you can't get fooled again." -Nashville, Tenn., Sept. 17, 2002

4) "I know the human being and fish can coexist peacefully." -Saginaw, Mich., Sept. 29, 2000

3) "They misunderestimated me." -Bentonville, Ark., Nov. 6, 2000

2) "Rarely is the questioned asked: Is our children learning?" -Florence, S.C., Jan. 11, 2000

1) "Our enemies are innovative and resourceful, and so are we. They never stop thinking about new ways to harm our country and our people, and neither do we." -Washington, D.C., Aug. 5, 2004

Our Greatest Fear

2005-08-23T15:13:00.000+08:00

The first time I heard this was in the movie Coach Carter. It was one of the great climatic moment in the film when Timo Cruz stood up in the gym during their study session and told Coach Carter what his greatest fear was. What he said was profound and I thought that it was part of the screenplay, originally written by the screenwriter. But then I found out today in the internet that the real author of the quotation was Marianne Williamson, and that it was quoted in her book, "Return to Love".

Here's the quote as written on her book:

"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light , not our darkness, that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented and fabulous?

Actually, who are you not to be?

You are a child of God. Your playing small doesn't serve the world. There's nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you.

We were born to make and manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others."

Panapaan

2005-08-23T14:31:00.000+08:00

I've never seen my house this far before. Would you believe it took me an hour to figure out where it is? It was fun though. It reminded me of the time when I would scan a book with a magnifying glass trying to spot Wally Waldo. I can't believe Google Maps can be this addictive.

Close Encounter with a Pinoy Rock Star

2005-08-21T18:38:00.000+08:00

Sponge Cola dropped by the compound where we live in this afternoon, but they didn't stay for long. My sister and I where on our way to church when a car pulled up in front of my auntie's grocery store. The window on the front seat rolled down and a guy wearing a white shirt looked at the people who were standing besides the store and asked them "Saan po ang SM Bacoor?" We were already inside a tricycle cab when all of this happened. I managed to get a good look at the guy and realized that it was Yael, the lead singer of Sponge Cola. My sister didn't believe me at first when I told her that that was Yael. But she was convinced later when we went to SM to pay the bills. The whole band was there signing autographs to a jam packed crowd.

Nothing much really. I'm not a fanatic like the people who chased the band after they performed or my sister who memorized the plate number of the car that we saw. It's just strange when you see people you watch on MTV in person. Well there's one, and I see him every other day. Did you know that my PolSci 11 professor is the bassist of Sugarfree. Yup, Sir Jalton Taguibao... or Sir Jal to most of his students. I just saw him on ASAP right before we left the house. Sugarfree was performing Hari ng Sablay in SM Davao City along with the ABS-CBN stars. My sister was quick to point out that the Sandwich t shirt Sir Jal was wearing was the one he usually wears to school. Anyway, it must be hard for him to live double lives. He is usually absent whenever gigs clash with his class schedules. Still, he's an excellent prof, quite a terror. Which reminds me, we have a recitation tomorrow on Jose Migdal's state-society. Patay, di pa ako nakakapagbasa. Sana absent siya bukas. :)

Politicians

2005-08-16T14:05:00.000+08:00

Switchfoot, one of my favorite bands, is releasing a new album this September called Nothing is Sound. One of the tracks caught my attention. After listening to it I could only sigh and say to myself, "How true". Anyway, I wrote down the lyrics. I'm not sure if it's accurate but it's good enough for me. Tell me what you think about it.

Switchfoot
Nothing is Sound
Politicians

Everything is broken
Everything is broken
Everything is breaking down, breaking down

Everything is bleeding
Everything is bleeding
Everything is breaking down, breaking down

I pledge allegiance to a country without borders, without politicians
Watching for my sky get torn apart
We are broken, we are bitter
We're the problem, we're the politicans
Watching for our sky get torn apart
C'mon and break me

Entropy and aching
Where have we been aiming
Everything is fading now, fading now
We are the faded, spinning and sedated
Everything is fading now, fading now

I pledge allegiance to a country without borders, without politicians
Watching for my sky get torn apart
We are broken, we are bitter
We're the problem, we're the politicans
Watching for our sky get torn apart
C'mon and break me
C'mon and break me

I am broken, I am bitter
I'm the problem, I'm the politican
C'mon and break me

Matteiru

2005-08-13T12:55:00.000+08:00

Saturday morning,
The while I wait for you,
Cold wind turns into rain.

Arashi

2005-08-02T16:52:00.000+08:00

Please click the image to enlarge it.

TCA

2005-07-20T20:57:00.000+08:00

I got this picture from maps.google.com and it made me nostalgic. I'm sure the UAEans would notice which part of Abu Dhabi this is. They call this area TCA (Toursist Club Area) and that red circle on the map is the building where I used to live (my parents and my younger sister still lives there though). The green patch across the street is a garden, and to the right side of it is the Emson's building which is next to KFC and Hardeez, which in turn is next to Pizza Hut. We used to eat there a lot, my family and I. Haay.. brings back a lot of memories. I wish I could get the zoomed out picture of Abu Dhabi so that I could show you guys Corniche and the school where I studied. Too bad it won't fit the screen.

Sigh.

I really miss Abu Dhabi.

The Hire

2005-07-19T12:16:00.000+08:00

The Hire is a series of short films produced by BMW to market their cars. I first heard of this from a friend who persuaded me to download it from the internet. I did, and I enjoyed watching every single minute of it. You see one of our professors in the DAC department uses these films in his HUM1 classes so that his students could explore the different cinematographic styles used in the series. There are 8 films all in all and each has a different director. All of them by the way are big time directors. Names such as John Woo, Ang Lee, and Tony Scott (directors of movies such as Mission:Impossible II, Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon, and Enemy of the State), to name a few, were some of those involved in the project.

The films star Clive Owen as the driver who is hired by the most unusual people because of his skills behind the wheel. The series boast amazing car chases, an engaging storyline, and an intricate plot twist. With an average runtime of only 6 minutes per film, The Hire is comparable, even tops the quality of some feature-length movies. It's highly entertaning and if you're a car afficionado you'll definitely want to watch it. The films can be downloaded at BMW's website, you need a broadband or a dsl connection though.

Anyway here's a rundown of the plot summaries of The Hire:

01 Ambush
Directed by: John Frankenheimmer
On a dark freeway, a van swerves close to the driver and the door slides open. From inside, masked gunmen threaten to fire unless the driver stops and surrenders his passenger, a seemingly harmless man they accuse of smuggling diamonds. It's a simple choice: Do or die. Legendary director John Frankenheimer and star Clive Owen combine talents to create a dramatic chase with some unexpected twists.

02 Chosen
Directed by: Ang Lee
The driver meets a ship carrying an eight-year-old Tibetan boy at a dark, deserted New York shipyard. But he's not the only one waiting. Ang Lee, director of the Oscar-winning Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon and star Clive Owen create a thrilling, yet beautiful, tale filled with mystery.

03 The Follow
Directed by: Wong Kar-Wai
The cunning and tactics of trailing another car quickly evolve into a mystery rife with deceit, as The Driver is hired to follow a woman accused of cheating on her famous husband. Discover acclaimed director Wong Kar-Wai's ability to play heart against mind in this drama of mistrust.

04 Star
Directed by: Guy Ritchie
The driver faces perhaps his most perplexing challenge: Coming face-to-face with a hugely talented and successful rock star. But beneath her beauty lies a problem she always gets what she wants. Guy Ritchie directs Clive Owen and a surprise guest star in a battle of power against power.

05 Powder Keg
Directed by: Alejandro Gonzalez Inarritu
Soldiers patrol fields and rural villages. Their mission: Find a photojournalist who has snapped a picture certain to unite the world against their leader. Alejandro Gonzalez Inarritu directs Clive Owen as the photographer's driver and sole hope of getting him and his film beyond the strongly guarded border.

06 Hostage
Directed by: John Woo
The driver races to locate a kidnapped victim locked in the trunk of an abandoned car somewhere on the water's edge. Linked to her only by cell phone, the driver narrows in on her location in a desperate race against time and tide. Preeminent action director John Woo and star Clive Owen pair to create this fast-paced action thriller.

07 Ticker
Directed by: Joe Carnahan
The driver rescues a mysterious messenger carrying an even more mysterious briefcase after an ambush on a rural highway. As a helicopter gunman relentlessly pursues them, a game of political intrigue plays out, with an unforeseen ending. Acclaimed new director Joe Carnahan helms Clive Owen, Don Cheadle, and F. Murray Abraham in this thrilling race against time.

08 Beat The Devil
Directed by: Tony Scott
Decades ago, the legendary James Brown sold his soul to the devil for fame and fortune. Now he wishes to renegotiate. Hired to take Mr. Brown to a rendezvous with the devil (Gary Oldman), the driver soon finds himself entangled in fiendish plans. Tony Scott directs Clive Owen in a satirical duel between good and evil.

Randomness

2005-07-18T19:23:00.000+08:00

On Hiatus

2005-07-05T19:08:00.000+08:00

My blog has been gathering dust lately and it will for some time. I've been planning to change my account and hopefully build a new weblog from scratch. I've been studying XHTML and CSS for a week now and I still have yet to put into practice what I have been feeding my mind. Well anyway I'll post whenever I can, or whenever I have something interesting and useful to say.

By the way, you should check out this site www.w.bloggar.com. It features a software that enables you to write blog posts on windows, so basically you don't have to connect to the internet to write them, you could save it and post whenever convenient. It is compatible with a lot of blog services, including Blogger. Anyway check it out, you'll find it very useful.

Goodbye Dent, I Bid You Adieu

2005-06-16T19:14:00.000+08:00

Realist

2005-03-28T00:05:00.000+08:00

That's what my answers to a survey suggested. Maybe I am. But really, I think of myself as a pragmatic fellow. But are pragmatic people realists?

Summary of Realists

* Loyal and steady workers who meet deadlines
* Believe in established rules and respect facts
* Think of themselves as mature, stable and conscientious
* May appear too logical or tough-minded and forget their impact on other people

More about Realists

Realists are loyal to the people around them and work hard to keep their promises. They are honest and straightforward with others and expect the same in return. Realists believe in standard procedures and will only support change when there is a demonstrable benefit.

Realists respect factual information, which they store up to use when making decisions. This group likes to have time to think quietly and carefully before taking action.

These extremely productive people like to be occupied in their leisure time with pursuits such as craftwork, hiking or reading.

In situations where they can't use their talents or are unappreciated, Realists may become obsessed with schedules, critical of others or have trouble trusting other people to get the job done properly. Under extreme stress, Realists may complain loudly that events have taken a turn for the worse and predict negative outcomes.

Realists typically only share their opinions or personal experiences with trusted friends.

Family Reunions

2005-03-25T21:54:00.000+08:00

You've got to love family reunions. Lots of faces, lots of food, and oh yeah, more food. Compliments of Ernie Barron, who was generous enough to buy a hundred or so lauriats from Chow King to feed the entire clan. He happened to be a relative, being the son of the sister of my father's mother. I used to brag about Ernie Barron being my relative to my classmates and they would usually look at me with a "so what?!" written on their faces. Anyway, it was a big get-together with Barron families, who I hardly know of, on one side, and a handful from the Espiritus, who I also hardly know of, on the other. Yes, I am a stranger amongst my own relatives. I don't know them, but some of them do know me, and they would comment, "Oh, so you're chong Nestor's son, the last time I saw you, you were this small," and they would place their hands, palm open, at knee height. It's a sad thing, not knowing your own relatives. But when my father gets here I'll make sure he introduces me to every one of them.

We left early because my sisters still has to meet with one of their classmates who'll be leaving for the U.S. for good. We rode on a bus to Manila and got down Vito Cruz street. Manila was unusually quiet. I was caught off-guard by the silence because it's a rare thing. Every now and then a jeep would pass by, but other than that, the street was empty. Everything was closed, even the LRT lines. The people must have gone away to the provinces this Lenten season. Instead of the usual cacophony of the city during the early afternoon, all you can hear is the wind slapping your face. It is a welcoming change, given that it only happens once in a while. Somehow I wished Manila would stay this way, peaceful and quiet. Tomorrow is a different story though.

--------------
Much has happened during the two week hiatus on my blog. Last week alone I've done things I've never done before. It's nothing much but to me it's a major leap outside my comfort zone and this time it is not for myself or my benefit. Physically it was tiring, I was craving for my bed so much that I dream about it. But in the end, the joy of service surmounts everything, and I end up feeling happy and blessed. God is good, no doubt about it!

Philippines and Surveys

2005-03-10T20:42:00.000+08:00

The Philippines ranked high in corruption among the countries of the world. And just recently, we won the second place slot among the most corrupt countries in Asia, that is according to a survey conducted in Hong Kong. We could have been the number one if it were not for Indonesia who took away all the glory of being called the most corrupt country in Asia. If you ask me, I think we deserve to be on the top spot. Forgive me for being cynical, but hey, it's the reality dude. Our government is riddled with officials who cares for nothing but their own selfish gain. Sure we were able to bring down the regimes of corrupt leaders like Marcos and Estrada but we replaced them instead with others who are as selfish and corrupt as them. No wonder the Philippines never progresses, there are just too many leeches in the government. We need to get rid of them. Millions of pesos that should be used for the development of our country just end up in the pockets of corrupt officials. The government should do more to track down these thieves. It's not only about fighting graft and corruption, it should be more of preventing it.

But amidst the political instability, corruption, tax hikes, and increasing prices, the Philippines, for some weird reason, is among the 10 happiest nations in the world which is according to World Values Survey. We were even happier than rich nations in Asia like China, Japan, and South Korea. It's a good thing because it shows that we Filipinos are not materialistic and that our happiness is not gauged on how much we have in our pockets. According to a TIME article that I read, it is our being social that makes us happy people. Also, we are generally happy because it takes so little to make us happy. Sabi nga diba, mababaw ang kaligayahan natin. Yes, we are complacent people na basta't buhay, may makakain, at kasama ang mga mahal sa buhay, ay masaya na.

With the recent surveys in mind one can ask: Are we happy because we are corrupt? Or are we corrupt because we're happy? Before you answer that, take a look at Nigeria. Nigeria ranks third among the most corrupt countries in the world. It also happens to be the happiest nation in the world. Ironic isn't it. Go ahead and figure it out.

A Cold Summer

2005-03-07T20:17:00.000+08:00

Is it just me or is the weather getting colder these days? Last Saturday it drizzled here in Cavite. The damp roads glistened under the light of the passing cars. The air had the after-smell of rain on it and from time to time a refreshingly cool breeze passed by making you shiver the chills away. On Sunday, the sky was bright and blue, with a few patches of white on them. Looking to the north, however, one can see that the horizon is blemished with dull gray clouds. It must be raining on Manila that day.

I know it's supposed to be summer here in the Philippines, but everytime I go outside I would feel the winter air of December. It's really weird because a few days ago it was really hot and our ACs were on most of the time (patay pag dating ng bills). The weather can really be unpredictable. Who among the UAEnians could forget the day it snowed in Ras Al Khaimah. After living under sunshine for so long, no one would have thought that white flakes could possibly fall down from their sky. Although it never snowed, there was a time when it reached a minus degree on Saudi Arabia - which is according to a friend who happened to live there. And now in the Philippines we see a sudden change from the unbearable heat to the refreshing cold. Freaky isn't it.

But before you start thinking of global warming, changing weather patterns, and The Day After Tomorrow, let me just say that the change is inviting, however weird it is. It gives us a short time of relief before the blazing summer sun comes back again. Maybe the earth is just cooling off itself to balance things. This certainly won't last for long but I do wish it does.

USC Elections

2005-03-04T17:55:00.000+08:00

During the past few days the campus was littered with fliers, blown up posters, and multi-colored stickers promoting the candidates in their respective parties, who are running for the University Student Council. Their objective, as in all campaigns, is to secure the votes of the students. The candidates are at their best roaming around the campus with smiles plastered on their faces. They'll approach you in the friendliest manner and with a firm handshake would say, "Vote (place name here) for (place position here)." After which they would hand out stickers and papers that bear their names and pictures on it. It's like confetti, these things that they give you, the moment they turn around you stick it wherever you can or you just simply throw it away.

Today though the school was relatively clean. The campaign ads were stripped off walls and bulletin boards. In its place were banners that read "Halalan '05 - USC." Today's election day and the tension is rising between the members of the parties whose fate depended on the outcome of the student's votes. The parties running against each other are the ASAP-Katipunan and the Iskolar Student Alliance. The ASAP-Katipunan's cry is the fight for greater state subsidy. Backed by student activist orgs and frats, this party seem to have an edge against the inexperienced Iskolar. Among their agenda was to fight against the P357 million pesos budget cut. This has long been an issue in the UP, and now that the Congress has approved the budget cut, students has been taking it to the streets and rallying to abolish, if not strip down, the budget cut. The Iskolar argued, however, that the budget cut is only P67 million pesos - a less significant figure than that which the ASAP-Katipunan say it is, and that they had evidence to prove it. Another issue was the commercialization of the UP. The ASAP-Katipunan were against it, while the Iskolar were for it.

The way I see it, the former party is for the masses while the latter is for the satus quo. Ang laban ng mga maka-masa at ang mga elitista, as my blockmate would say. The differences between the chairpersons of both parties holds proof to that. The descriptions of the chairperson of ASAP-Katipunan emphasized more on his membership with various student activist orgs. The descriptions of the chairperson of Iskolar, however, revolved around his academic achievements as a student. I don't want to make hasty generalizations on this but everything points out to be that way. ASAP-Katipunan openly declares in their fliers that they are "pro-masses", something you'll never hear from Iskolar. Looking back in history I remember the Magdiwang and Magdalo faction. They had the same goals but had different interests. When I look at it, I see history repeating itself in a mini-scale University level, as represented by these parties.

With all that in mind there was one last question for me to answer. Who to vote? Should it be the student activists in ASAP-Katipunan or the student pacifists in Iskolar? I voted for neither of them. I didn't take part in my so-called right to suffrage because I was uncertain if the intentions behind the smiles and the handshakes of both parties were good or bad. Neither can I really say that I prefer one over the other. I guess I'll leave it all up to the student majority to chose who they think is responsible enough to take office. But I hope that the majority would get it right this time around.

Writer daw Ako!

2005-03-03T19:51:00.000+08:00

I'm flattered whenever people would tell me that I'm a good writer. But honestly, I really don't think I am. Before I started this blog I was ignorant to a certain degree of the english grammar. Words like badder and baddest existed in my dictionary and I'd always get a good laugh from my friends whenever they would hear me using it. I should know better by now but being the not-so-perfect-human-being that I am, I get a few grammatical errors and typos every now and then. Nevertheless, it never hindered me from writing. Instead of hiding myself out of embarrassment, I took whatever frailties I had and strove to perfect them. Since then, writing has become my passion and although I'm still the trying-hard writer that I am, I know I will eventually master my craft.

Writing is never that easy. It takes a lot of brain juice to come up with something new and creative. I admire those who could write so well that they conjure up fine writings expressing their thoughts and experiences effortlessly. Whenever I read them I would often wish that I could do the same. I would wish that somehow I could be as informative and entertaining as they are in their writings; hence my blog. It is in my blog that I attempt to become the words that you read. It is here that I relate my experiences so that you could learn a thing or two from them, whatever they may be. And it also here where I could store my day-to-day thoughts and ramblings so that later, when I look back on what I have wrote, I would feel and remember what I was like back then.

Being read and appreciated is one of the great joys I have in my life. Because of that I'm thankful for the small audience who continue to visit this blog. It's been five months now since my first post and surely this is not my last. I'll be posting for as long as I can keeping in mind what people say... at ang sabi nila ay writer daw ako!

I Was Fooled by a P20 Bill

2005-03-02T21:13:00.000+08:00

Weeks ago I had a 20 peso bill that had a doodle beside Quezon. It's the kind of doodle you would see on my notebook whenever we have our Bio class or any other boring class for that matter. The three arrows intrigued me because it was pointing at Quezon's head. Was it pointing out that Quezon was going bald? The guy who previously owned this bill must have had nothing else to do. Anyway I used it to pay for my jeep fare that day. This morning however, on my way to school, I dug into my wallet and pulled out a 20 peso bill to pay for my bus fare. To my surprise it was the same bill that I had weeks ago, or so I thought. Coincidences have their effect on me so I decided to keep the bill and pay with another. This 20 peso bill was the change that I got from our school's cafeteria yesterday. I wondered how it got all the way from Cavite to Manila? In my mind I pictured the 20 peso bill being passed from person to person. The jeepney driver could have gave it as a change to a passenger, the passenger could have used it to buy a newspaper, the newspaper guy, during a hot summer day, could have used it to buy a bottle of mineral water, the guy selling the mineral water, along with fish crackers, and quail eggs, could have passed it off as a change to a UP student commuting to school, the student could then have bought something from the cafeteria, and the rest, as they say, is history.

Nothing can be more significant than something that makes its way back to you. I pondered on these things only to find out later that there's really nothing significant about this 20 peso bill that I had. That in fact, it is just one of the hundreds, even thousands like it circulating around the Philippines. How did I know? I saw something I missed out earlier. Written below the doodle was "UN Year of Microcredit 2005: Sustainable Microfinance Services for the Filipino Enterpeneurial Poor". I did my research and it turned out that the doodle was actually the logo of the International Year of Microcredit 2005:

"The logo depicts power, movement, and speed, each emanating from a strong core -- all descriptive elements of microcredit and where it stands in today's world." [yearofmicrocredit.org]

So that was what the three arrows were all about, but what the heck was it doing in a 20 peso bill. Maybe the Philippine government was advertising microfinance. Actually microfinance and microcredit mean the same thing and that is the extension of small loans to entrepreneurs too poor to qualify for bank loans. They say it would help poor people engage in projects that would generate income. This is fine, but what if they didn't make a profit out of the loan that they used? They'll be stuck in debt like the Philippines is today.

Haay, and to think that for a moment I thought there was something special about this peso bill. This is what I get for watching too much of Serendipity.

Nostalgia

2005-03-01T21:08:00.000+08:00

Corniche Renovated

Corniche as seen from the Marina Cafe

Emirates Palace Hotel at night

The Corniche is Abu Dhabi's counterpart of Manila's Baywalk and it's a helluva lot more beautiful there. See the hotel on top? If you've read my earlier posts I've mentioned about this being the world's second seven star hotel. It wasn't stated so in their website though. Maybe someone on the other side of the world beat them to it.

It was still in construction when I left Abu Dhabi and now just a few month's later it's already finished. I would gaze at it at a distance whenever we would go to Marina Mall and I would always find myself amazed by its enormous size and grandeur. Looking at it always reminded me of Taj Mahal.

Abu Dhabi really is getting more beautiful everyday. Maybe after a few years it would be at par with the most beautiful cities in the world. If only Manila or any other city in the Philippines would do the same.

Anyway, I know my blog has been stagnant for a week now but I'll be posting descent stuff soon. I have a lot of topics in mind waiting to be written down but I just can't seem to get started. Writer's block as they say.

I'll be posting regularly soon. Just watch out for it. :)

On Dog Walks and Training

2005-02-17T18:17:00.000+08:00

I take Crescence out for a walk outside, every afternoon just after school, whenever I can. She loves going outside. Every time I take hold of her leash she gets all excited and starts to scamper towards the door. Once outside her tail would wag vigorously and she would start running, dragging me from behind. It's really hard to control her when she's excited so I just stand still. When she realizes that she can't get anywhere she calms down and I start walking again.

Crescence would normally stoop down, her nose touching the ground, sniffing anything and everything along the way. She gets startled and would run away whenever tricycles would pass us by. Loud noises scare her so do dogs who would bark at her when she gets too close to their territory. She would cower behind me and her tail would hang down whenever she feels frightened. I would usually take her home after that because that's where she feels safe and secure.

She has grown a lot in her four month's stay with us. I've seen her changed from the shy, timid, sad-eyed pup that I knew of before, into a hyper and energetic dog who would chew on almost everything. Dogs are cute and adorable while they're still young and they usually get pampered for it. When Crescence was first introduced to us, my sisters and I would spend hours watching her. We treated her as if she was our baby and gave her all the love and attention that she could have ever needed. We still love her now, but she's not that adorable anymore. Come to think of it, we were all once cute and adorable but time took it all away, he sure did leave some for me though :)

Crescence is not house trained yet so we have to keep her on a leash to regulate her movement. I've been reading a lot of articles on how to train dogs so that someday, when she knows the do's and don'ts in the house, we could permanently take the leash off her and give her the freedom to roam around the house. Training a dog though is not easy. I tried this afternoon to train her how to sit. With tidbits of adobong pork in my hand, I approached her and enticed her with the treat. She wanted it badly but I didn't give it to her yet because I had to associate the treat with the command I was to teach her. Frustrated, she kept on barking, not knowing why I was just standing there not handing her morsel. Eventually she sat down but when I approached her she stood up and started to jump on me again. I turned away again and waited for her to calm down. When she finally did, she sat down again, and this time she didn't got up. I walked up to her and said 'Sit!', then I gave her the treat and patted her on her head. I did this a couple of times and it worked because whenever I approached her she would sit down and patiently wait for her treat.

She learned fast. Then and there I started thinking of how tomorrow I could teach her to roll over and play dead. She could be the coolest dog ever once I've taught her to do tricks. Proud of what we've had accomplished, I praised Crescence and gave her a pat on her head. After washing my hands I went back to her. "Crescence sit", I said. She just stood there and she stared at me. This time, with a commanding voice, I said, "Crescence sit". She leaped, her front paws touching my chest. Undaunted I tried one more time and said "Crescence sit". She just continued on leaping, bouncing off her leash.

Oh well, I guess it's back to square one. Maybe I'll have better luck tomorrow.

Coke Ad

2005-02-16T22:39:00.000+08:00

Kasama
--------------------
Bb Eb Bb
Sana'y masabi sa awit kong ito
Bb Bb/A Gm C F
Lahat ng ninanais nitong puso ko
Bb Eb Bb
Sana saan man, patungo sa buhay
Bb Bb/A Gm
May pag-ibig, may pag-asa
Eb Bb
May saya at saysay
Bb Eb Bb
Sana, sa bawat sandali'y matikman pa
Bb Bb/A Gm C F
Sarap ng pagsasama, at simpleng ligaya
Bb Eb Bb
Tara na! Sakyan lang, malay mo.
Bb Bb/A Gm Eb-F Bb
Nand'yan lng, nand'yan lng, ang hinahanap mo
----

I can't get the chords to go in line with the words they are to be played on because blogger won't allow me to, so I guess you just have to hear the song for yourself to know.

Download the .mp3 file of the song, and the UK coke commercial, where the ad was originally based.

River Strip

2005-02-15T22:27:00.000+08:00

Paint the Day Red

2005-02-14T21:41:00.000+08:00

It's red shirt day in the UP. No, it's not because of Valentines Day. Rather, it's because the students are rallying against the P 357 million budget cut. Funny how red could mean both love and activism. Here at the UP we celebrate the season of love by staging protests against the government.

Activism aside, love is really in the air. You can see it everywhere. Flowers, balloons, chocolates, haranas... you know, the usual valentine cliches that you get every February 14. Who can blame them? It's only once a year that you get to formally celebrate love, so why not make the best of it? I may not have a date this valentines but at least I get to celebrate it with one of my special someones. Meet Ate Leeann. My ever-so beautiful sister who, once in a while, has PMS written all over her face. It's her birthday today. My sisters are so lucky. They get to have their birthdays in cool dates. My other sister, Joyce, was born on New Year's Eve.

Anyway to all you guys out there: HAPPY VALENTINES DAY!

PI Field Trip

2005-02-13T21:41:00.000+08:00

Today was our PI class field trip to Banahaw. Ate Lee and I left home early. The bus was supposed to leave at 6:30 am but schedules are always prone to change. It was an hour later before the bus started moving. I sat on the back of the bus with my sister beside me. Behind us were four of her bio blockmates. The rest of the students on the bus were from the college of public health. Before proceeding to Banahaw we stopped over in Sto. Tomas, Batangas were we bought our lunch. We were supposed to eat them when we get to Sta. Lucia falls but I was hungry so I finished most of my lunch in the bus.

After an hour or so we finally arrived in Banahaw, Quezon. We took a jeep ride to our first stop which was the Sta. Lucia falls. It was about a 100 meters below us so had to go down a flight of steps. It was slippery and none of us wanted to fall down so we were very careful in our descent. When I reached the bottom I saw children jumping off the rocks and diving in the river, in another corner were people doing their laundry, on the far side was the falls that was fabled to have healing powers. We had to cross the river because the picnic site was on the other side. Sir Esguerra was already on the water helping the others to cross. The water was really cold. I held my shoes up high so that it didn't get wet. I crossed the river as dry as I can be but then I tripped and got my pants wet from the knee down. Good thing though the camera in my pocket didn't get wet.

The place was serene. The sound of the water rushing down was calming and relaxing. It's my first time to see waterscapes such as this after living in a desert country for almost half my life. I wanted to swim but I didn't have extra clothes. Ate lee never said anything of us stopping by a river so I wasn't really prepared for this. The others took out their lunches and started eating. I roamed around and took pictures of the river. After an hour we had to go to our second stop so we started climbing the stairs we went down a while ago. If going down was hard, going up was even harder. There were about 289 steps all in all. The one in our Batangas field trip was only a 100. It's like climbing a twenty story building.

When everyone got to the top we hiked across the village to our second stop which was the chapels of the Rizalistas in Banahaw. Along the way we caught sight of certain symbols like the all-seeing eye. If you watched National Treasure you'll be familiar with this one. It's a triangle with an eye at the center. Esguerra said it is a sign of the Rizalistas and is associated with free masonry. I remember seeing it in a basillica in Batangas on our previous field trip.

The old chapel was in renovation. The new one however was one of the cleanest that I've ever seen. The tiles were so bright and shiny that you could see your reflection on them. Although they are more or less like Christians in belief, there are major differences. Their priests are women whom they call their sumprema. Their first ever suprema was MBB (I forgot what the initials stand for) whose teaching have become part of their doctrines. They revere Rizal and other Filipino heroes. It's interesting though that Aguinaldo was not one of them. During the forum with one of the leaders, I asked if they treat Rizal as a god. He answered that Rizal is just as man as any other of us human beings and it is only God whom they worship. I have my doubts though. I've also noticed that they were feminists. In one of the paintings outside the old chapel they quoted a verse from Jeremiah. Part of it says, "Mananaig ang mga babae sa mga lalake." When I asked him about this he says that they are not feminists but they believe that when the end is near the women would be superior to the men. He cited examples of how in today's society women have equal rights with men. He also used GMA as an example.

It would be better if the person we interviewed was the suprema herself because she would have given a better insight on their sect and what they believe in. A lot of the beliefs shared by the person we interviewed closely resemble that of the Catholic faith so it's really hard to tell if they are a cult sect, as most of the people believed.

Anyway the interview lasted for almost two hours. After that we packed up and went home. It was an exhausting day but the fun and the experience made the trip worthwhile.

Can I Take Your Order?

2005-02-12T21:33:00.000+08:00

The Mainplace held a Friday night acoustic gig which was hosted by Soul Shop. Ate joyce and I volunteered as waiters for the event. A day before we were sent to an HRM school here in Cavite to learn the rudiments of serving the table, proper handling and placement of utensils, carrying 4 plates at a time (which is really hard by the way), and some basic napkin folds. It was a short crash course to prepare us for the event.

We went to the Mainplace at 7 pm that Friday night. When we arrived, there were tables covered in red table cloths that lined up outside Soul Shop. In the center of each table was a ceramic plate where on it laid a flower held together by two stones. A mini stage was at the center. Soft ambient lights flooded the usually dark street near the church. Acoustic music was streaming from the speakers. The whole setup felt like the usual sight one sees in Baywalk during the night.

People started arriving at 8:30. The performers was already there setting up their equipment. Each of us was assigned a different table and after a brief orientation we started walking towards the customers seated and asked their orders. To my surprise the guy at the table I was assigned to was the same guy who gave us the crash course. Serving their table felt like going through a graded OJT (on the job training). I didn't want to mess up so I kept reminding myself the little that I have known from the lecture. I was tense at first but when I got the hang of it I enthusiastically went from table to table taking orders and serving them.

It was hectic. I went to and fro taking orders and dishing out plates. There were at least 60 or more people and there were only 10 of us waiters. Individually we were serving at least 6 people. That's small compared with the size of customers waiters normally serve in restaurants. Considering this is my first time it was hard and exhausting but no matter how hard it looked I still kept on going. Ate lee would be so surprised if she saw me. It's not really in me to do this kind of things. To be honest i'm a lazy hardworking fellow. It's my paradox. I'm a couch potato who prefers being served rather than serving, but when time comes that I start working, I give it my best. My father would always say that "Masipag ka naman e, pag tyinaga nga lng."

It was already midway through the program. The performers are already playing their second set of songs. I was at the back searching for tables to be cleared, but most of the people are still eating so I just stood back and enjoyed the music for a while. The vocalist started reading a tiny piece of paper. It was a request from the audience. "Once in a Lifetime by Freestyle or 214 by Rivermaya to be sung by JC", he read. I thought he made a mistake but then the youth started to tease me and it's obvious that one of them gave out that request for me to sing. I just stood back in shock and disbelief. Luckily they performed a couple of songs and for a moment I thought they forgot. But after a few sets the vocalist called my name and asked me to come up stage. I was hesitant. The others tried to encourage me but really I was too embarrassed to go up there and sing. I gave in though. The vocalist made me sit down the chair he was sitting in and gave me the mike. The keyboardist didn't know the song so the vocalist requested kuya JR to come up and play it. The vocalist then asked me to give a message to my friends. All I was able to say was "Lagut kayo sa akin mamaya."

Eyes were on me and I was there at the stage praying that I won't freeze up. Kuya JR started playing and I sang. Amazingly I was able to finish the whole song without messing up. After finishing I was eager to get off stage. I felt so hot in embarrassment. I've never done anything like this before. I've sang a couple of times in church before but never in a gig. And the fact that youth, guests, and pastors, were there to watch, made it even more embarrassing. But I'm glad that's over with. I'll never forget that experience.

Writer's Block

2005-02-10T17:49:00.000+08:00

I worked my butt off until the wee hours of the early morning just to finish my paper. Tomorrow's the deadline and with time running out I rummaged through my research looking for ideas that I could put on my paper which was only four pages at that time. Writing is not an easy job. I would always find myself staring blankly at the screen not knowing what to type. This happened a lot while I was writing my research paper. Thank God though I was able to finish it on time. The family-sized coke, which I drank all up, helped a lot. Caffein is simply amazing because it makes you do things you don't normally do, and in my case it kept me awake till 5 o'clock in the morning, giving me ample time to finalize my paper. I could imagine how hard it would be for students and workers alike to work without this wonderful drug.

You'll Be Safe Here

2005-02-08T23:27:00.000+08:00

Nobody knows just why we're here
Could it be fate or random circumstance
At the right place, at the right time
Two roads intertwine

And if the universe conspired
To melt our lives to make us Fuel and fire
Then know where ever you will be
So too shall I be

Chorus:

Close your eyes
Dry your tears
Coz when nothing seems clear
You'll be safe here

From the sheer weight
Of your doubts and fears
Weary heart
You'll be safe here

Remember how we laughed until we cried
At the most stupid things like we were so high
But love was all that we were on
We belong

And though the world would never understand
This unlikely union and why it still stands
Someday we will be set free.
Pray and believe

Chorus:

When the light disappears
And when this world's insincere
You'll be safe here
When nobody hears you scream
I'll scream with you
You'll be safe here

Save your eyes
From your tears
When everything's unclear
You'll be safe here

From the sheer weight
Of your doubts and fears
Wounded heart

When the light disappears
And when this world's insincere
You'll be safe here

When nobody hears you scream
I'll scream with you
You'll be safe here

In my arms
Through the long cold night
Sleep tight
You'll be safe here

When no one understands
I'll believe
You'll be safe
You'll be safe
You'll be safe here
Put your heart in my hands
You'll be safe here

----
Wla lng. Nacipra ko kasi toh last week. We actually performed this during our youth gathering in church. I love this song even though medyo gasgas na. Ang galing talaga ng Rivermaya.

Anyway the song is really easy on the guitar.

The verse goes like this: C#m G#m-F#
The chorus: B F# C#m G#m F#
The verse and the chorus ends with an E

The Beach

2005-01-31T16:44:00.000+08:00

Rizal: Reformist or Revolutionist?

2005-01-28T18:50:00.000+08:00

Everyone has their own opinion whether Rizal was a reformist or revolutionist. The great Filipino writers of our history, Constantino, and Agoncillo, would agree that he was a reformist. Tell that to Sir Esguerra and he would give you a 5.

By chance we met on the hallways of PGH. I was on my way to school and apparently he was too. At first sight of me he said, "Mr. Espiritu, tamang-tama naandito ka. Bukas yung midterms niyo dapat e diba wala ka. Kunin mo na yung test ngayon." For the second time this week I was caught off-guard by my professor. Last Saturday he made me report impromptu, now he wants me to take my midterms. "Wag kang mamobrelema, open books, open lectures, open notes, pwede mo ngang sagutin sa library. You have three questions to choose from and you only have to answer one. Yun nga lang, limited ang sagot mo sa 5 sentences," he said. "So... ano na?" he asked. I just nodded to say okay. Do I have any choice? "I have a PI class at 2:30. Just go there at GAB 107 and I would give you your exam." he added after that.

I can remember the time when I was still under his Histo 1 class. He entered the room and began to talk about a certain guy in his PI class who wrote as an answer in his blue book that Rizal was a reformist. He gave him a failing grade. Rizal, my professor lecturing us said, is not a reformist. We never got to ask him why but I wish I did. I have this gut feeling that one of his test questions would deal with Rizal being a reformist or a revolutionist.

After my Histo II class I borrowed books about Rizal in the library. My SocSci II class will give me enough time to review and search for the answer as to why Rizal was not really a reformist. It turned out, based on my readings, that Rizal was both reformist and a revolutionist. He was at first in favor of the assimilation of Philippines to Spain thereby a reformist. But this was out of his naivete. Later on he got to experience the ills that is happening in the society and his views profoundly changed. His revolutionary ideas were soon to be immortalized in his novels and revealed by the characters like Elias and Simoun.

Gab 107. I felt like a stranger amongst Esguerra's PI students. If it weren't for this exam, I wouldn't be sitting in their class. Esguerra wasn't there yet so I spent the time composing my thoughts amidst the cacophony in the classroom. When he finally arrived the class settled. He approached me with a blue book in his hand. The students around me sat silent for a while wondering what I was doing there. They don't know me, and I don't know them. I thought I would take the exam with them but it turned out that they were through with the midterms and I was just there to sit in while I answered the test. He said that I should pick one of the questions.

This is the question that I chose:

Rizal's El Fili is a separatist novel. La Liga Filipina is a progressive organization. Why is it then that Rizal denied the 1896 Revolution?

This is my answer, or at least what I thought was the answer:

Rizal denied the existence of the 1896 Revolution because he didn't want his conscience to be marred by the blood of his countrymen who will inevitably suffer because of their unpreparedness for a full-scale revolution. Although Rizal had revolutionary ideas, he was not for armed revolution per se. He was more for the gradual and peaceful one. One that is catalyzed by the education of the people. He reasoned out that when subject people are educated, intelligent, and have become aware of their human rights, they would have self-determination and they would strive to be free from their mother country. When this revolution happens, drastic changes will occur in the political, economical, social, religious, and intelligence sphere of a society paving the way for it's independence someday.

I hope that answered the question. As to whether Rizal was either a reformist or a revolutionist. I remain agnostic about it.

Network Frustration

2005-01-27T18:39:00.000+08:00

Ephemeral Visions of A Dream

2005-01-26T19:25:00.000+08:00

Isn't it funny how dreams are so vivid and surreal when you're asleep but then when you wake up everything you've dreamt of fades into a gradual blur. Others remember their dreams so well that when they wake up they can tell you minute details of it. For me though it isn't. I can't even remember most, if not all of my dreams. But I do remember, as a child, dreaming of black and white cartoons. My dreams were like channels on TV where I can switch at will the things I wanted to see. For a few minutes I would be dreaming of Tom and Jerry (I remember having nightmares after watching the episode were Tom died and he was given an hour to reconcile with Jerry or else he goes to hell) then I would dream of Mickey and his gang, then switch to other animated characters.

As I grew up my dreams started to revolve around the people I see everyday. I would dream of regular days in the classroom, or at home, or in a different place elsewhere. There are times during casual conversations with my friends when everything seemed so familiar and I would stop and tell myself that this happened before. Did it happen before? Talk about dejavu. Maybe I saw it in my dreams. I don't know if it's just me but my dreams are totally made up of random events. It doesn't have a storyline and for most of the time it doesn't make any sense. You see people in your dreams. You talk to them as if they were real. As if everything that is happening is real. You see the world in a first person mode but there are also times that like in films, the camera just zooms out and you see yourself with the others.

I had these kind of dreams once. But lately it's like every time I go to sleep my mind just fades to black. Consciously I could conjur up images but that only happens minutes before I fall asleep. It's like nowadays I don't dream at all. It's a fact though that normal people dream every night. Dreaming is the brain's way of reorganizing itself and it happens during a stage they call REM (Rapid Eye Movement) sleep. Based on that I cannot not dream every night, if you know what I mean. But why can't I remember what I have dreamt?

I once came across the site of a blogger who recorded her dreams. Once of her posts dealt with why people do not remember what they have dreamt. She said that most of us are in such a hurry in life that when we wake up we immediately get out of our beds and onto our daily routines. She, on the other hand, gave herself five minutes or so to reflect on her dreams and jotted them down on paper as she recalled it. Believe me I tried doing this but whenever I have my reflections my eyes simply close and I fall asleep again. I wake up 30 minutes or an hour later not knowing that such an amount of time had already past. Looking at my cellphone's clock I realize that I am totally late for school. Forget the reflections, I need to get my butt off the bed lest I want to be marked tardy in my attendance.

I want to remember my dreams. I want to get a glimpse of a world created by my subconcious mind. I want to view my life in another perspective, however distorted or random it may be. This is why I make such a big deal out of it. For those who remember their dreams so well, I envy you. But I may as well be contented with that fact that I do dream even if I don't remember it. It makes me the same as any other normal human being on this planet. Tonight, I will dream. Tomorrow, hopefully, I get to talk about it.

The Ellipsis of the Mind

2005-01-25T20:30:00.000+08:00

MTV Lokal featured the band Silent Sanctuary. By the end of the show they performed one of the tracks in their album "The Ellipsis of The Mind". The song was called "For Tonight". Their music was simple yet somber. Aside from the usual guitar, bass, and drum setup, they had a cellist and a violinist. The cello and the violin gave their song a solemn effect.

It's bands like these that make me want to listen more of Indie music. Before I came here I really didn't like listening to OPM. When I was still living in Abu Dhabi whenever someone would mention OPM, novelty songs would first cross my mind. Seriously, it's hard to get decent pinoy music when you're miles away from the country that's producing it. I do listen to a few pinoy bands like Parokya ni Edgar but that's just about it. Foreign music dominated my playlist.

When I arrived in the Philippines my music preferences began to change. Soon I began to fall in love with the rock anthems of Bamboo, the inspiring songs of Rivermaya, the awesome singing voice of Kitchie Nadal. I fell in love with OPM, alternative OPM to be specific. Kjwan. Cambio. Sugarfree. Stonefree. Sandwhich. 6cyclemind. Urbandub. Sponge Cola. Sugar Hiccups. Silent Sanctuary. There's a whole lot of them. I could remember saying a few years ago that filipino music is jologs but I take that back now.

I'm proud of our music, of our style, kakaiba talaga ang mga noypi. Kakaiba talaga!

I Strip Once In A While

2005-01-24T19:17:00.000+08:00

---
inspired by asofterworld.com

Makamisa

2005-01-22T20:55:00.000+08:00

"Are you ready for your report mr. espiritu?" my professor asked.

The last reporter was already in front of the class ready to start on his report on Rizal's El Fili. There was a brief moment of silence. Heads turned and eyes were on me. Everyone was waiting for my answer.

"Sir, i've just started reading yesterday and I don't think I would be able to touch all the points if I reported today."

"It's okay. Just report on what you know. It's better that you report today so that you can join your field trip next week."

"Okay," I hesitatingly said.

My professor then turned toward the reporter in front and motioned him to continue. Meanwhile, I skimmed the book that I borrowed for my report extracting details that I could use to build my impromptu report. I felt nervous because I had to stand in front and explain Rizal's supposed third novel to a bunch of biochemistry seniors, my sister, and my professor whose teachings had a profound effect on me. The guy was nearing the end of his report. By the time he finished his report, I was already done with an outline of mine. Shaky, I stood in front and started my report.

"Makamisa, which means "after mass", is one of Rizal's unfinished works and is said to be his third novel following Noli and El Fili. It is an anticlerical and humerous novel. Makamisa was written satirically which is reminiscent of the style Rizal used in Noli me Tangere..."

Minutes later I was finished. It was a good thing that Professor Esguerra helped fill in facts that I missed. As I returned to my seat he told me, "O ayan, makakasama ka na sa field trip mo dahil tapos ka na magreport." Originally my report was scheduled for next week, but incidentally it is also the date of our field trip in NatSci 2. I was looking for a compromise because I couldn't sacrifice neither one of them. I tried asking Prof. Esguerra to give me a make-up for my report next week but he was hesitant. Eventually I decided to give up the field trip because I felt that my PI 100 class was much more important. But now that I finished reporting, i'm free to go to my field trip next Saturday. I wouldn't want to miss out my last field trip with my blockmates before I shift to another course. I'm happy things turned out just fine.

These Happened The Year I Was Born (1988)

2005-01-21T23:39:00.000+08:00

Ronald Reagan is president of the US

Federal grand juries return indictments against Gen. Manuel Noriega, ruler of Panama, charging him of running drug cartels

A missile, fired from the US Navy warship Vincennes destroys a commercial Iranian airliner killing all 290 on board

A Pan-am Boeing 747 explodes over Lockerbie, Scotland from a terrorist bomb

Controversial Arizona Governor Evan Mecham is removed from office for financial misdeed

Jimmy Swaggart is defrocked when his sexual liaisons with women other than his wife are revealed

The Netherlands becomes the second country to get connected to the Internet

Al-Qaida is established by Osama bin Laden

Los Angeles Dodgers win the World Series

Washington Redskins win Superbowl XXII

Edmonton Oilers win the Stanley Cup

Rain Man is the top grossing film

A Brief History of Time by Stephen Hawking is published

"Faith" by George Michael spends the most time at the top of the US charts

-----------
What Happened the Year You Were Born?

Ladder 49

2005-01-21T18:07:00.000+08:00

Why is it that firemen run inside a burning building when everyone else is running out?

Watched Ladder 49 a while ago. It narrates the life of a veteran fireman by the name of Jack Morrison (Joaquin Phoenix). The movie unfolds in a series of flashbacks of Jack's life as he helplessly lie trapped in a burning building after helping save a man. His captain (John Travolta) desperately figures out a plan to get him out of there. Most of the flashbacks dealt with the emotional highs and lows of Jack's life which included his first day at the fire station, him getting married to Linda, who later on gave birth to two of his kids, and just about a dozen different fire situations.

I would rate it as an average movie. It's not really good but neither is it bad. Let's just say that it ended tragically. The movie though gives the audience an idea of how it is to be a fireman risking his own life in order to save others. We should be thankful for people like them, the firemen, police men, people in the military, and just about everybody else who make sure that we stay safe. Watching the film reminded me of the heroism of those that perished doing their job saving people during the 9/11 attacks. If i'm not mistaken there were 300 or more firemen and policemen who died when the WTC towers collapsed. Such bravery and courage, laying down your own life so that other's may live. Not everyone could do that.

A Paper On CS

2005-01-20T23:52:00.000+08:00

I still have these allergies all around my body. It even reached part of my face, just around the eyes. My sister consulted kuya Wilbert about my allergies. He told her that mine could have come from dust mites. This adds up to my growing list of possible causes. I ruled out mosquito bites, mosquito dung, and hairy catterpillars. I never get these allergic reactions whenever i'm outside. It's only when i'm indoors that they start to show up. Could it be from dust mites? I want to have a good night's rest, free from the irritating itchiness so I cleaned my room. I also changed my bed sheets and the AC's filter just to be sure. As of now, my allergies subsided into subtle red patches on my skin. Let's see if it returns tomorrow.

I finally got a topic for my paper. I originally wanted to do a paper on music piracy but my professor wanted that part of my paper would include an interview with Edu Manzano, the current director of the Optical Media Board. Now how am I supposed to secure an interview with Edu Manzano? I see him on TV but other than that I had no connections with him or whatsoever. And so I decided to change my topic. My professor suggested that I write about something that i'm into. Fine, I said that I like anything that would relate to computers. He asked me if I played computer games. I said yes, who doesn't. Then he asked what kind of game do I play. Being a game fanatic I could have said a dozen different games but the first thing that popped out of my mind was CounterStrike. He then suggested that I do a paper on how the game CounterStrike can be used as a module in training soldiers for armed combat. At first I thought why not? But then he told me that I have to interview someone in the military for information on the effectivity of simulations in combat training. I was hoping that he wouldn't say that. Now I have a really big problem. I could get countless information off the net but it would destroy the credibility of my research paper. I have limited if not zero book sources and I still have to find prospects for an interview.

Can anyone help me secure an interview with someone from the military?

I try not to scratch

2005-01-19T19:37:00.000+08:00

I am experiencing major allergic reactions. I have pantals all over my body and it really itches. Just to give you and idea of how it looks like, imagine swelling pantals in the shape of islands, better yet archipelagos, surrounded by some sort of rash, covering your body. I know it's a bad description but it comes close to what you could see on me now. Plus there's this sensation of you being bitten by ants and that makes you want to scratch real hard. But when you do, things only get worst. I had this since afternoon so for six hours now I have been constraining myself, however difficult, not to scratch. I thought it would go away after an hour or two but it didn't. I couldn't take it any longer so my sister and I went to the nearest pharmacy to buy antihistamines. Just popped a pill minutes ago and things are starting to look better now.

Last November I had the same irritating experience plus a fever. I would blame mosquitoes whenever my allergies start popping out. But our house now is mosquito free and still I'm getting these reactions. Maybe I was wrong about the mosquitoes. Maybe the doctor was right when she said that it could have come from pollen caught in the wind or from a catterpillar of some sort. Tita Daning said that it happens whenever you get the chills and you're fatigued. It could be a plausible explanation. I started having these allergies just right after I returned home from my P.E. class (table tennis). She suggested that wiping vinegar over the affected area would help. Umm... vinegar? Sorry tita, but I think the antihistaminic drugs would do just fine.

Studying is my passion, but.....

2005-01-18T20:49:00.000+08:00

I really find it hard to study when you are not pressured to. Compared to last sem, my load now is relatively light. I have no major subjects like Chem and Physics to worry about. Somehow I miss the days when I would lock myself in the room and read books, not because I want to, but because I have to. If you were me back then you wouldn't want to attend Esguerra's class unprepared. But my point is, I thrive under pressure. When things start to ease up I tend to loosen up a bit on studying. And this is, in any case, bad for a UP student.

Last friday we had our departmentals in Math 1. Unlike Math 11, Math 1 focuses more on logic and the history of math. Anyone will tell you it's easy. I would, but somehow I fear that the results of my exam would say so otherwise. You see I'm not really sure of my answers even though the majority of the exam is multiple choice. And I made a lot of mistakes because of ignorance. I thought May had only 30 days and that made all the difference. Three items wasted because of that single error. Yeah, yeah, go ahead and laugh. Now if only someone would have taught me the knuckle system of remembering how many days are there in any given month. For those who don't know about this, well then let me share it with you. Maybe it would help you someday. You start off with the first knuckle in your right hand. That's January. The space in between the first and the second knuckle is February. Then you go on with March and the rest of the months alternating the knuckle and the space between the knuckles. When you reach the last knuckle you start again with the first knuckle. Now the month's that landed on the knuckles have 31 days. Those that didn't have 30. February of course have only 28... 29 during leap years. Did it make sense?

Now that you know I hope you won't commit the same stupid mistake as I have. It really frustrates me whenever I think about it. I should have done better in the exam. Anyway there's always a second chance. I hope I could redeem myself in the next dept. exam. I should. I will.

Psalms 23

2005-01-18T18:27:00.000+08:00

The Lord is my Shepherd,I shall not flunk
He keepeth me from lying down when I should be studying
He leadeth me beside the water cooler for a study break
He restores my faith in study guides
He leads me to better study habits for my grades' sake.
Yea, though I walk through the valley of borderline grades
I will not have a nervous breakdown for thou art with me
My prayers and my friends, they comfort me
Thou givest me the answer in moments of blankness
Thou anointest my head with understanding
My test paper runneth over with questions I recognise.
Surely passing grades and flying colours shall follow me
all the days of my examinations
And I shall not have to dwell in this exam hall forever.

- Anonymous

Weird

2005-01-13T17:54:00.000+08:00

"One of two 19-year-old fish with human-like facial features in Chongju, about 140 km (88 miles) south of Seoul on January 10, 2005. The hybrid species fish were born between a carp and a leather carp in the pond of a personal house in Chongju. Each of the two female fish is 80 cm (32 inches) long and 50 cm (20 inches) in circumference. The owner of the fish said on Monday that their faces have begun to look more and more human over the last couple of years. Picture taken January 10."

-Reuters

Channel Surf

2005-01-12T21:38:00.000+08:00

Here are the programs I watched in TV today.

1. The Psychic's Secret Revealed. The show explains how psychics fake spoon-bending telekinesis and mind-blowing telepathy. I don't believe in people who claim to be psychics and this show gives me a reason why. The stunts they perform to trick the people are quite ingenious. But they are fake nevertheless. Do you know that the psychic's reading of your life is scripted. They tell you the same thing. People believe that the readings are specific to them but actually they generally apply to anyone. Psychics are good actors but the stuff they do are fake.

2. WWE Smackdown. Psychics are fake. Wrestlers are not. It's obvious that the matches are planned and the lines they say are scripted but the punching, the pedigrees, suplexes, archaeos... the act of wrestling in general is real. My sisters say that the punches are faked but they don't watch WWE so they don't really know. They're not fake. The only reason why the wrestlers don't seem to flinch whenever they are punched at is because they're bodies are built for that stuff. The more muscles you have the less pain you would feel during brawls. The match I saw is a three-person battle for the heavy weight championship. It's between Chris Benoit, Shawn Michael, and Triple H. It's a non-disqualification match so anything goes. At the end of the match Shawn Michael's face is covered with blood, Triple H has a cut in his forehead, while Chris Benoit may have suffered from a back injury when he was thrown at his back on the steel table used by the commentators. Christ Benoit won after Triple H tapped out.

3. Amazing Race 6. The best reality show ever. The others are good not because they're "good" but in a way, by watching these reality shows, it makes you feel superior over the people who make idiots of themselves. There's a lot of these shows actually. Most are from MTV like Wild Boyz, The Assistant, One Bad Trip... and so on. Given the chance, I would join the Amazing Race. Not only do you compete for a million bucks, you also travel the world in the process. Even if you didn't win, the places you get to visit are equally rewarding. Too bad only American citizens could join.

4. Sponge Cola on MYX Live. The band rocks. I especially like their song Lunes and their cover of Madonna's Crazy For You. Mabuhay ang OPM!!!

Just Another Day

2005-01-11T16:34:00.000+08:00

I had a long test on Histo II. It's the first test I had in any of my subjects this semester. It's not hard, but I did have mental blackouts on some of the terms like the Thai boats which serve as floating markets. I was thinking of writing "sampong" but I knew it wasn't that. Good thing I kept the number blank because the word was actually "sampan". Quite far from sampong. Mentally associating ideas for hard-to-remember-words doesn't always work (I thought of the Filipino word for ten (sampu) while memorizing "sampan"). The remainder of the test was relatively easy. I take pride in my ability to name all the countries in West Asia, particularly that in Middle East, and their capitals. There were two particular questions that made me smile while answering it. One is to name "the country with the highest GDP in West Asia." while the other is to name the tiny piece of land on the map adjacent to the humongous Saudi Arabia. The answer to both questions is obviously the United Arab Emirates. I light up whenever I hear the letters U.A.E. It's my nostalgia.

After school, I patiently waited outside Robinsons because I have to give something important to my classmate. She told me to be there at 2:30. I was there at 2:15 because my professor in my Soc Sci class dismissed us early. It's very predictable that she would be late so I gave myself 30 minutes. I had no means of contacting her and I didn't plan to wait the entire day so I said to myself if she's not here by 3:00 I would go home. It reminded me of the bad habit we Filipinos have. We even coined a term for it. Filipino time. When you say "Filipino time" it's actually showing up 30 minutes or more after the scheduled time. It happens a lot. Even with Filipinos abroad. I know. I'm guilty of doing it sometimes. As a corollary, people give themselves the excuse of not showing up on time because the would say to themselves "wala pang tao doon" or "mamaya pa sila magsisidatingan." It goes to show how we Filipinos are lazy and tardy. Joyce didn't show up. Ate LeeAnn went to school early to tell me that Joyce couldn't come at that time because she had important things to do. Thank God it was only 2:40. I didn't want to waste 30 minutes standing outside Rob for nothing. I went home after that.

A mother with her child entered the bus I was riding in. All the seats were full so they had no choice but to stand.

I would gladly offer my seat to a lady or a senior citizen if the situation allows me to. Let me explain. If the lady or a senior citizen or even a kid you want to offer your seat to is too far away from where you are, it's pointless to stand up and offer your seat, because the moment you stand up a guy would come and take your place. Today was different. They stood right next to me, and at that moment I got up and gave my seat to them. The mother thanked me and gave me a smile and I felt like a thousand bucks. I smile whenever I see men offering their seat to women, and now I got to do the same act of a gentleman and it felt great. I didn't mind standing for 40 minutes all the way to Cavite. The very thought that I helped someone is better then me slumping on a bus chair.

Anyway I made a discovery today. I found out that San Agustin buses are offering student discounts. Instead of paying P23 the trip only cost me P18. That's P10 per day. Multiplying that to the number of school days and I could actually save P200 pesos per month. That's huge savings. It's enough to buy me the book I found in the bookshop near the entrance of Rob.

Die to Live and Vice Versa

2005-01-04T17:20:00.000+08:00

"All endings are also beginnings. We just don't know it at the time..."

If you look down you'll see this familiar quote on my new year's post. It makes perfect sense to me now, our beginnings and endings, life and death, etc. The last three books I've read mentioned a thing or two that relates to the quote above.

In the Genesis Acount, a book I read in the church library, there's a chapter that explains why God allowed entropy in the universe. It says that entropy is essential for our survival. In order for something to live, something must die. It's a continuous cycle. We feed on animals and plants. Our body converts what we consume into energy that keeps us going, that keeps us alive. In return, when we die, we feed the soil with our lifeless bodies. We give back what we had once taken away. In Tuesdays with Morrie, Morrie keeps pointing out to Mitch that "when you learn how to die, you learn how to live." In the Five People You Meet In Heaven, another book by Mitch Albom, it points out how the death of someone could give life to another. Just like how the captain's tragic death kept Eddie alive. Or how Eddie's death would give Amy/Annie the chance to live.

And the more I think about it the more I see it happening everywhere - Death and Life. We think of death as contagious but to die is just as natural as it is to live. As Morrie would say, "It's part of the deal we've made."

Have you ever wondered why the tsunami waves didn't reach the Philippines? Our geo professor pointed out that Indonesia broke the waves. If that country wasn't in the map the tsunami would reach mainland Philippines. Imagine waves reaching a height of 40 meters crashing down 4 kilometers inland on a city. The Filipinos couldn't handle such a disaster. The flashfloods that swept Quezon province looked petite compared to the humongous waves that crashed down on South and Southeast Asia. And there we have it again. Those who died in Indonesia gave us Filipinos the chance to live. Death. Life. They're inseperable.

Anyway the death toll is at 150,000+. We should help those who survived the tragedy especially those in Indonesia. We owe them that much.

Mouse Trap

2005-01-01T16:28:00.000+08:00

WARNING: This post contains graphic material. Viewer discretion is advised.

The picture above is all that remained of a squished rat. How did it get there? I really don't know.

Three days ago my room started to stink. I tried cleaning my room but it was still there. It wasn't really that bad but it kinda smelled funny. Yesterday my sister told me that my room smelled like a dead rat. Me, apparently immuned, couldn't really smell it. I tried spraying my room with air freshener and that temporarily solved the problem. But this morning the smell grew worser. I tried to find the source of the stench but I couldn't find it. My sister, who was checking out the closet, told me it was coming from the wardrobe. That's when I remembered.

Three days ago I heard squeaking noises from the drawer pictured above. I knew it was coming from a rat, actually a mouse. Mices are smaller. The drawer wasn't entirely closed and I figured that a mouse climbed in there apparently trying to get out. Without even thinking I kicked the drawer closed.

Now you know what happened to the mouse.

I should have pictured the mouse itself but the stench was way unbearable. And you wouldn't want to see it. It was way gross. Pancake ala Muridae Cricetidae. With a surgical mask and surgical gloves on I tried removing the mouse. Man, thinking about it makes me sick. Luckily I was able to dispose the mouse in the garbage bin. The stench was still there so I sprayed the drawer with Lysol. The can was almost empty when the stency was finally gone.

I am not a mouse killer. I even have names for some of them, those of who visit my room every now and then. There's LeeAnn, Mickey, Minnie, and Jerry. Si LeeAnn ata ung napatay ko. It's not my fault, it just so happened that the poor mouse was at the back of the drawer when I kicked it.

Ugh, thinking about that mouse really makes me sick. I think I'm gonna throw up.

Happy New Year

2005-01-01T02:47:00.000+08:00

"All endings are also beginnings. We just don't know it at the time..."

It's pointless for me to make a new year's resolution because I never keep them. But I do believe it's high time for change. Everything changes as time pass by but we decide if it takes effect on us. Somehow I hope that something good would change in me this 2005.

It's my first time to consciously spend new year here in the Philippines. Well I was here on new year's eve eons ago but I was only like what, 1 or 2 years old? I can't even speak lest remember what happened. When I first arrived here I always thought that Christmas and New Year would be special. But it was just like any other day. Although New Year is more of an ear wracking experience. Things go boom every now and then on the streets. It's like being under enemy fire. My sisters would scream whenever something would explode. It was really embarrassing being around them.

We ate hotdogs and bread for our new year's eve dinner. Good thing though they served food in church or else we'll be facing the new year on an empty stomach. We were supposed to buy a bucket from KFC and maybe a pizza box or two, compliments of Ate Avi and Joyce, but they weren't able to withdraw money from the bank. But before you start to pity our condition let me tell you that even though we didn't have the fancy food nor the company of our family we were still happy. I mean why shouldn't we. We were blessed and God has always been faithful to us these past few years. There's really nothing to be sad about.

Well there's one thing though. Joyce (the sister of ate avi) accidentally dropped my mobile in a pail full of water. It really didn't matter to me that much. All I can think of is that I won't have an alarm clock to wake me up this new year. I rarely use my mobile. I keep it for timekeeping purposes and emergency calls and that's it. I can live without a mobile. But Joyce was generous enough that she offered to buy me a new one. So how about that, a new year, a new mobile. Not that bad for a new year's start.

Anyway to all of you out there I wish that you have a prosperous New Year. There's a lot to look forward to this 2005 amidst the chaos surrounding us. We should make the best of this year.

The Countdown Begins

2004-12-31T14:00:00.000+08:00

Yesterday when I checked my mail the tsunami death toll was at 88,000. Now it's at a whopping 125,000. There has been so many deaths this December. It's just sad but it reminds me how fortunate we are that we are still alive. Let's just hope and pray that this coming new year, things would be better for our country and the world.

In the meantime, here's a survey I got from ate Gail.

Five Things You May Not Know About My Time in School:
1. I was in the honor roll most of the time during my elementary and HS years. I graduated a salutatorian.
2. I excelled in science but I really sucked at math. Still do in college.
3. Been involved in a lot of activities in school. I was vice president of the student council and president of our nature club for a time. I was part of the varsity but rarely do I play on court (I was the bench guy).
4. We had a cheerdance group and I was part of it. You should have seen the routine, they say it's comparable to the dances in UAAP although we couldn't toss the girls the way they did.
5. I was keyboardist of our band. The first time we performed was during our junior year on the school's christmas party. The first time and the last time we performed outside our school was during a program held by the Pioneers School in St. Joseph. We were supposed to dance an interpretative dance but we ended playing instead. Ryan was our lead guitarist, Ej the bassist, and Ruel the drummer. The last time we performed as a band was during our prom. But Ryan and I, we still played during our graduation. We were in charge of composing a graduation song. Ryan did the lyrics and we both worked on the melody. It was great. Someday I'll post the song on my blog.

Five Things You May Not Know About the Job/s I Have (or Had or Don't Have):
1. Never worked on a real job but I do remember helping my mom in her office. She paid me for that. That could be a job right?
2. When I was young I wanted to be an astronomer. The heavens fascinated me. I remember reading books on planets and stars. I could even name a few constellations but the one I never miss seeing in the sky is Orion.
3. My best friend and I dreamt of working in NASA. I would often joke to him that one day I'll be working for NASA... I'll be the guy wiping the windshields of the space shuttle. But seriously, I do wanted to work for a space agency.
4. As of now if I continue the course I'm in I'll be a future dentist. But i'm shifting so...
5. In the future I may end up a lawyer. My parents would often tell me that I had the lawyer stuff in me. They say when I was a kid our relatives would often call me Attorney JC. Although I'm good in arguments I never saw myself being a lawyer. Well let's just see what happens in the future..

Five Things You May Not Know About My Online Life:
1. My Yahoo is my homepage.
2. I have a gmail account.
3. I always appear offline whenever I sign in on msn and yahoo.
4. I love googling.
5. I use Firefox to browse the web. (If you're tired of pop-ups and programs hijacking your IE browser, changing you homepage and stuff, well my friend its time to make the switch)

Five Things You May Not Know About Where I Live:
1. I lived in the Middle East, Abu Dhabi, UAE, to be exact, for the past 14 years. It's sad how only a few people here in the Philippines know about the UAE. You tell them that you lived in Abu Dhabi and they tell you... "ooohhh scary, that's in Saudi Arabia right." From where I've come from there are no terrorists. It's just a safe, peaceful, and progressive city.
2. While I was in AUH we stayed in an apartment in the 14th floor, 1402 to be exact. There are 2 grocery stores in the said building. In the front is the ever so famous Abdul Wadood Grocery (that name is synonymous to where I lived) and at the back is the seaside grocery store.
3. There were two pinoy grocery stores just around the vicinity of our building. One was the seaside grocery and the other was pinoy grocery. They import food from the Philippines and sell it here. These are the few places in AUH where you'll find hopia, jack n jill chips, frozen jolibee chicken joys, and a whole lot more. Definitely MADE IN THE PHILIPPINES.
4. Currently I'm staying in Cavite, in the house of my father's brother. Actually our original house is just beside the one I'm living in. They swapped houses when my father took a vacation two years ago.
5. This I only noticed during my birthday. Jezi pointed out a sign saying Espiritu Compound. Well most of the people who lived in that area are relatives.

Five Things You May Not Know About My Home Life:
1. I hardly know my relatives even though they live so close to us.
2. Whenever I'm bored I turn into a couch potato.
3. We rarely use our landline. Most of the people we know live in Manila and it's a long distance call so it's no use using the phone. But they say after January 5 calls from Globe landlines would be free anywhere around the country. So if you've got a Globe landline just pm me your number.
4. We have a dog. Her name's crescence.
5. Our living room is filled with the color pink. Ughh.. it's what you get when you live with girls. Heck there was a time I was forced to use my sisters pink blanket because it's the only available blanket. It's hard when people would come in your room and ask you why you're blanket is pink. But thank goodness my parents sent me a new one.

Five Things You May Not Know that I Desperately Want:
1. An Ipod.
2. An SLR and a Digital cam.
3. A new desktop computer.
4. New strings for my guitar. (All the shops I go into say that they're out of stock on acoustic strings.
5. A grand piano.

Five Things You May Not Know About What I Do in a Typical Day:
1. I study jazz music on the net.
2. I channel surf.
3. I do stuff online.
4. I read books.
5. I listen to music.

Surveys are really fun especially if you got nothing to write about. Well that's it for me. New Year's just 10 hours away. See you at midnight.

Gathering

2004-12-28T23:03:00.000+08:00

Studio pic from our gathering a while ago. Too bad Marian wasn't able to come. Sorry if that's all I can say. I'm just to lazy to blog about it now.

Merry Christmas

2004-12-25T01:00:00.000+08:00

We've been really busy this week practicing for our Handiworks performance. I'm glad that's over. Here's what happened this past few days.

Had an awesome Christmas party at church.
Played the guitar at the said party.
Designed an AVP (Audio Visual Presentation) to introduce Handiworks.
Got a small part in a play.
Finally got that invitation to a gmail account. It's zephymeral@gmail.com by the way.
Got to eat bibingka for the first time.
Pigged out at church. They feed us every after practices. Today I ate 4 times and my stomach's so full. I just love the ham, chicken, barbecue, and the bibingka that they served after the Christmas eve service. Well at least we got to eat something really good this Christmas besides Ate Lee's spag and tiramisu.

But the highlight of the week is when I finally got that long awaited call. Funny how a series of serendipitous events led to her calling me. Destiny really has its ways.

Anyway, this is the first time that I'll be spending Christmas away from my parents. It is something to be sad about but then again what really matters this season is the birth of our Savior. The christmas trees, the lights, the gifts that we receive, they just cover up the real thing. I'm not really expecting people to give me gifts but I'm happy knowing that I have the greatest gift of them all. And that is I've got Jesus in my heart. I wouldn't ask for more. He's the reason I live... He's the reason why we live. God must be crazy. I mean sending His own Son to die for us, for lowly little us. What God would sacrifice himself for those He love. I may never understand this but I'm eternally grateful to Him for it. You loved me even though I know I'm unworthy of it. Thank you Lord.

To all of you, HAVE A BLESSED CHRISTMAS AND A PROSPEROUS NEW YEAR.

Pianome

2004-12-19T19:54:00.001+08:00

I've been playing the piano ever since I was in high school. I remember bugging my parents into buying me a keyboard. Back then the price tags on keyboards are really expensive especially if it's Yamaha. We bought the cheapest that we could find and it cost us around $300. It sure left a big hole in my parent's pockets but I know they never regretted buying it.

In the past few years I have learned to play five different musical instruments. I taught myself to play the piano, guitar, and the drums. In school we learned how to play the recorder and the violin. I guess it's my love for music that gave me the passion to learn these instruments, especially the piano. I took formal piano lessons for half a year but then after that the pastor who was teaching me was no longer available. I have to learn it all by myself. I started playing by ear and the more I played the more I got good at it.

The Internet has been my source for a lot of the music I play. I would download music sheets of the net and I would spend hours even days learning it. I remember how happy I felt when I learned how to play A Thousand Miles. That night, me and my dad went to an electronics shop canvassing for a computer. I saw a keyboard and I was eager to try playing the song I have just learned. As I hit the keys I noticed that the volume somehow turned up. I stopped playing but the melody was still there. I turned around and right there in front of me, showing in a big screen TV, was Vanessa Carlton's video of a thousand miles. We were playing the piano riff in sync. How coincidental could that be? I was so dumbfounded. Could this be a sign? I just laughed at the idea, but I was utterly speechless for a few seconds.

I just love playing the piano but nowadays I spend more time playing with my guitar. Although, I do make it a point to find time for jamming sessions with my keyboard. Maybe someday when I have the money I'll buy myself a real piano. A grand piano to be exact with shiny ivory keys.

Sigh. That someday would be a helluva long time.

Media Biases

2004-12-16T20:53:00.000+08:00

TV Patrol's rating is going down the drain.

If you watched the news program earlier you'd know what I'm talking about. I didn't get to actually see it but my sister filled me up with what happened. It started out as a casual interview between Karen Davila and Susan Roces, the wife of the late FPJ, but ended with Roces' resentments against Channel 2. I don't want to go into details because I wasn't able to watch the interview myself, but this certainly is bad news for ABS-CBN and the Lopez family.

According to one of my professors, the Lopezes would watch TV Patrol and if they see news that they didn't like they could call the news department and have them cut the footage. I guess they weren't watching when the interview aired on national tv, or maybe they did watched but they weren't expecting the bitter remarks of Susan Roces coming. Cutting the feed would only make things obvious. Imagine the damage caused on the station's reputation when the wife of an icon in the movie industry looks at the camera and makes an open statement like this:

"Channel 2, galit ako sa station niyo..."

And to think that it was aired live on national tv on Channel 2's own news program, it only spells disaster for the network. Serves them right though for being too biased in their news. You see the Lopez family is the probably the most influential family in the whole country. They control our water, electricity, even the programs that we watch in their station. With such power and wealth it would only translate to them being pro status quo. Which further implies that they necessarily have to be biased in what they show in the news so that they could attain their status quo. Susana Roces pointed out in the interview that Channel 2 edited the footages of FPJ's campaigns cutting out scenes that showed the people who supported him.

Their bias on the adminstrative candidates caused the ratings of the network to drop during the election season. Although ABS-CBN denied that their decision to replace Korina Sanchez with Karen Davila has nothing to do with the ratings, I highly doubt it. You see, Korina's relationship with Mar Roxas subtly identifies her with the GMA administration. The masses can see this and they're not happy with it. With the dropped ratings, Korina is now seen as a liability to the news program so they had to replace her.

Even though the ratings only apply to the news program it could affect the whole station. The viewers who watch GMA's 24 oras got into the habit in staying tuned for the teleseryes which followed which explains the success of Mulawin over Marina. I wouldn't be surprised if somewhere in the near future GMA would replace ABS-CBN as the best station in the Philippines.

Not Talking to Strangers

2004-12-09T19:31:00.000+08:00

She walked down the aisle gazing at the rear end looking for a seat. You noticed her enter with the other commuters. She was wearing a long sleeved blouse and a checkered skirt. It was apparent that she studies in St. Paul. Finding that every seat at the back is occupied she then looks your way, eyeing at a vacant seat near you.

Seconds later she's right there beside you. It's a long way home so you decided to catch a nap. But you couldn't sleep. You gazed out the window and saw the beautiful sunset. You contemplate on the beauty of the amber horizon and it's reflection on the placid waters of the bay. Staring blankly at the sun, you felt something touch your shoulder. You looked to your left and saw her asleep. Her eyes were close, her head tilted, and it was just inches away from you. The AC was cold but the moment you felt her shoulder touch yours, warmth entered your body. You glanced at her face but couldn't see it well because it was partly hidden behind her hair. You saw her closed eyes and her lips instead. You felt something inside of you but you couldn't tell what it is. It's close to the feeling you get when you fall in love. But you would not dare say that it was actually love because no one falls in love with complete strangers. Could it be infatuation instead?

You dismissed the thought and just sat back. Though your eyes were closed you were conscious of everything around you. Showbiz Chikka was showing on the onboard TV. You hear them talking about Joross denying that he impregnated a girl. You decided to watch. The show ended. Ragnaraok the Animation came up next. You looked at the girl beside you. She was still asleep. You can't take her eyes off her. You tried to memorize every detail of her face. But then her eyelids started to part and you could now see her eyes. You looked away hoping that she didn't catch you staring at her.

Fully awake she sat straight and looked out the window. The bus is already in Cavite and it was just fifteen minutes away from your home. You took occasional glances at her. You swear you caught her also looking at you from time to time. In no time you were both playing the game of hide and seek making sure that none of you knew you were staring at each other. As the bus neared your dropoff you felt the sudden urge to ask her name but you were held back. Was it because of shyness or the fact that you're a stranger to her? I guess it was both. The stop was near, you got off you're seat, proceeded down the aisle, and got off the bus. You turned around hoping to get one last look at her and hopefully even wave a goodbye. But you never saw her again. You stood still as the bus zoomed past you. Will you ever meet her again?

You just smiled and walked away.

I Will Never Forget Their Smiles

2004-12-08T18:55:00.000+08:00

Click here to enlarge.

Stargirl

2004-12-07T23:28:00.000+08:00

What I hate most about my TF schedule is that I have a three hour vacant period before my next class. I would kill time reading in the library, but you can't enter the library without a countersign on your ID, which until now I still haven't got. So I passed time in the school's canteen with my blockmates who are waiting for their 10 o'clock class. While waiting I read a book I borrowed from Maica which was entitled Stargirl. At first glance one would think that it's a 'girlie book', as Gail would so often put it. But as I read a couple of pages I was convinced otherwise. Eventually I got hooked with the book I'm reading that I finished it down to the last page while hanging out in Go Nuts Donuts.

How I wish that Stargirl was more than a fictitious name. She may be an eccentric and a non-conformist, but hey, who ever said that being different is bad. I remember what Archie said to Leo about the moments we have just before we wake up. Moments when we are primitive, when we could be different, when we could do the things we want to do without a care of what the world thinks about us. But then when we wake up we become 'ourselves' again. People who are stuck to conformity and rules. People who live a fast-paced life that they tend to overlook the real things that really mattered. Stargirl was different. She was in touch with herself and her feelings and she felt what other people couldn't feel. She doesn't care about what other people may think of her just as long as she knows that she's happy. If only I could be more like her. Better yet, if only I could find someone like her.

Sigh.

Anyway I finished the book by 11:15 and I still had enough time to review my report on History II. I seldom get nervous during reports but this time was different. My whole body was shaking while I was giving out my report. It was quite obvious because the paper that I was holding was also shaking. Maybe it's because I'm reporting in front of people that I don't know. Dice and Dianne were there but the others I hardly knew. I don't even know the names of my groupmates in the report. But I'm glad that's over.

We didn't have class in Soc Sci II. Instead we were asked to attend the video forum in the Little Theater about the recent Hacienda Luisita massacre. The LT was packed full of students. It was obvious that the other professors required their students to watch the video forum. The video documentary started rolling. The sound was hardly audible and the students were noisy. I could hardly understand a word spoken. The film started with some interviews and shots of the leaders of the labor union making an appeal to the board about their wages. The problem is that the farmers who work once a week for the Hacienda Luisita are paid a measly 9.50 pesos. That's about half of what I pay to get to Manila from Cavite. They couldn't even buy a kilo of rice with that money.

November 15, the day the workers protested and 14 of them massacred. People were throwing stones at the policemen and the policemen retaliated back by bombarding the protestors with gallons of water. This didn't stop the workers and soon the policemen were pumping out tear grenades one after the another. People tried to bury it under the sand so that the smoke wouldn't come out but there were more tear grenades in the policemen's arsenal. They kept pumping out the grenades forcing the people to move back. When the smoke died down the protesters once again ran for the gates throwing rocks at the policemen. Moments later gunshots were fired but then it didn't stop firing. People were running for cover as bullets rain in on them. By this time the camera was so shaky that it made me extremely nauseous. If I watch any more of this I'll vommit. It happens every time I watch recorded movies from a shaky handheld camera. The last scene I saw before I went out was the people carrying a guy who had a gun shot wound. They placed him in the car and was rushed off to the hospital. I wanted to finish the documentary but I couldn't take it any longer. My head hurts and I couldn't breathe. I just wanted to get out of there.

When I got outside I proceeded immediately to the Robinson's Place to catch Alexander. We are required to make a report on this movie for out History II class. I've heard a lot of criticisms about the movie. I personally didn't like it. I think Troy was far better than Alexander. First of all it's hard to follow the story line because it's filled with numerous flashbacks. Add the change of setting every 30 minutes and you'll get completely lost. The cinematography wasn't that good either. The shots that I liked were the eagle's view of the battle and when Alexander, on his horse, went head to head with an elephant. The scenes after that was quite disappointing because Oliver Stone used red hues. Why change the color of the film? It wasn't necessary. If he wanted to portray the bleeding of Alexander or the death of his men he could have done it better without changing the hues.

Anyway the film is also controversial because of its portrayal of the sexuality of Alexander. I think the movie was more of the sexual exploits of Alexander rather than his conquests. Most of the times in the film you would see Alexander hugging his best friend Hephaestion exchanging affectionate glances and I-love-yous. That explains it all. However I overhead somebody comment saying that it was just brotherly love. Ok, how about the time he kissed his pretty boy servant on the lips. Brotherly love? I don't think so. It's more of homosexuality. But I wouldn't call it that because Alexander has a wife. Bisexuality is a more likely term. I was shocked when I first heard that Alexander was gay errr bisexual rather. I mean who would ever think that Alexander the Great is a bisexual? Although most scholars think that Hephaestion was Alexander's lover, Oliver Stone (the director) was quick to endorse this view.

I could understand why the Greeks hated this film so much. They even requested that during the credits they would flash in the screen a text saying that the account portrayed on the film was fiction. Alexander's their hero. He's not a myth like the other Greek heroes. He's real, someone whom they are proud of. And Alexander being portrayed as a bisexual in a film is not very pleasing you know if you're a Greek. Troy saved itself from making the same mistake when they didn't portay Patroclus as Achilles' lover although some think that they are more than cousins. Anyway bisexuality aside, no one can deny that Alexander was a great leader. He managed to go far where no Greek has ever gone before. He was an ambitious and an egoistic king. I guess those two caused him his life.

Rain

2004-12-03T19:41:00.000+08:00

Yoyong's gone, so is the possibility that my PI 100 class would be suspended tomorrow. It's not the rainy season but it's been raining here in the Philippines almost every day. I could hardly count the days when it didn't. But I love it when it rains. Although the dark skies make everything around me seem gloomy, once the rain falls I can't help but feel refreshed, even nostalgic at times. It bring back a lot of memories for me. And yes I couldn't dismiss the thought that whenever it rains hard, chances are classes would be suspended. And when it does get suspended, students go WOOHOO!!!

November has been a semi-sembreak affair for me. There hasn't been a week when classes weren't suspended this past month. I hardly attend my Monday classes anymore because the day always seem to fall on a holiday or a bad weather. I haven't even met our Math 1 teacher yet. I'm sure the professors would be catching up on the days lost during the times mentioned above.

Anyway, a low pressure area is forming in the Pacific and it is rather likely that another storm would hit the Philippines. And if a storm be a reason for suspending classes, then by all means... BRING IT ON!

Her Song

2004-12-02T13:13:00.000+08:00

6 Cycle Mind
Biglaan
-----------------------------------------
Nandito nakaukit pa rin sa puso ko,
Ng sabihin mong wag na lang.
Nandito nakatatak pa rin sa isip ko,
Kung paano mong kinalimutan ang lahat.
Kay bilis ba't umalis, nakakamiss

Na bigla lang
di ko man lamang nalaman
Na mawawala,
Na bigla lang
di mo man lamang naisip
Na idahan-dahan.
Hindi ako sanay sa biglaan,
Unti unti na lang sanang nawala.

Hindi ba natin kayang magkunwari,
at sabihin sige na lang
Hindi ba natin kayang dayain,
Ang mga yakap sa tuwing lumalamig
Kay bilis na umalis, nakakamiss

Na bigla lang di ko man lamang nalaman
Na mawawala,
Na bigla lang di mo man lamang naisip
Na idahan-dahan.
Hindi ako sanay sa biglaan,
Unti unti na lang sanang nawala.
-----------------------------------------

It would be so nice if we could pretend that nothing ever happened and make things easy for the both of us, but we should know better. It breaks my heart every time I hear you cry and it still does. If only I could wipe your every tear, but I guess time will do that for me. Time heals, but I do wish it would be sooner.

If only we could pretend that nothing ever happened. But then again we won't find happiness in pretensions. And we learned that the hard way.

Sometimes we have to learn to let go of things that are not meant for us.

Letting go... it may take time but we'll make it. I have faith in you. I have faith in us.

CSS & HTML Frustrations

2004-11-30T20:46:00.000+08:00

Unknowing to the majority of those who visit my blog, I have created a new layout just two days ago. It took me hours before I finally finished it. It was a clean and simple layout which I modified from Kubrick's skin. I tested it and every component worked out flawlessly. So there I was giving myself a pat in the back whilst republishing my blog.

It was perfect, or so I thought it was.

It worked fine in my Firefox browser but I had to check if it worked in IE. Everything was loading fine but then the sidebar didn't appear. I tried refreshing the browser but it didn't work.

Five hours of work in front of the computer just wasted because of browser incompatibility.

Sigh. I had to revert back to the dull black layout of mine.

Anyway here's a screenshot of what my blog could have looked like...

So much for that. On a brighter note... I PASSED MATH 11. I only found out this afternoon on my way home. I was so happy about it I left the UPM campus with a big grin on my face. Thinking about it right now makes me smile even more. That definitely made my day.

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I'm working on a new layout again. Hopefully I get to remodel my blog before the year ends. A new year, a new look... hehe expect for it... coming soon in 2005.

The Terminal

2004-11-28T01:38:00.000+08:00

I had to blog about the movie. It's one of the best that I have seen this year. I have to say that I greatly admire the character of the protagonist in the movie. No wonder our pastor always say that we need people like Viktor Navorski in our country.

The movie is noteworthy for a lot of things. What striked me was when Amelia told Viktor what Napoleon gave Josephine as a wedding present. Napoleon gave her a gold locket with the word 'destiny' inscribe on it. Amelia knew that it wouldn't work out with Viktor, but who knows destiny would say otherwise in the future. That we may get to see if ever Spielberg makes a sequel to the movie, which is rather unlikely.

My point is destiny speaks a lot to all of us. Yes, we live our lives and we make the choices, but destiny paves our way in life.

I'm such a sucker for these kind of things. It's a long and complicated story. But it all comes down to my belief that we all have our destined soulmates. I'm still looking for her, for 'the one'. I guess I've seen her already. I'm just not sure if she's really IT.

Destiny will reveal her to me. In the meantime, as Navorski puts it, "I will wait" on destiny's promise. I will find her... someday.

Political Rant

2004-11-26T19:49:00.000+08:00

The Unversity of the Philippines is well known for student activism. While I was catching up on my Histo II class, a group of students were shouting slogans against the infamous budget cuts on the UP. The academe has the reputation of instilling nationalism among its students. Every year it pumps out fresh graduates full of cause and idealism. It's ironic, however, to think that out of the same university comes great minds that corrupt the government. Eighty percent of officials who work for the government graduated from the UP. I'm not implying that all of them are corrupt. But there are bad people out there. A famous example would be President Marcos. He was a UP graduate, a top notcher in the bar exams even, and his legacy - he drowned our country in debt. Something we will never be out of for a long time.

One would ask what was wrong? Marcos had the makings of a great president. He was intelligent and eloquent. He could give impromptu speeches. There was no other Filipino president like him. But contrary to what Plato says, in my opinion, intelligence should not be the sole and foremost basis in leadership. However I'm not saying that we should vote for the not-so-intelligent people. Our country has already experienced the opposites. Look at Erap and Marcos, they were different from each other but they shared the same fate, didn't they? It takes heart, not intelligence, to be a good leader. He must have a servant attitude. One will never know how to lead, unless they first learn how to serve.

In our Soc Sci II class we discussed Platonic views on the ideal government. On his writings about the government, Plato talked about the restrictions in leadership. Our prof identified the items using her so-called spidey principles. Basically to become a good leader, one must live an austere life. An idea so far-fetched in the Philippine setting. Privileges is synonymous to a high-ranking official. It comes in different forms, from pork barrels to travel tickets paid by the government. But with money flowing everywhere one could only want more. Hence the corruption that's polluting our country. It has spread in every government department even in the AFP. Millions of tax payer's money are wasted in building private properties for the leisure of the selfish and corrupt officials. Leadership is not about privileges. But tell that to the senators and congressmen out there and they'll tell you you're crazy. No wonder it's hard for them to let go of the disputed pork barrel. They'll be losing their source of revenue. Take away the incentives and privileges in politics and you'll have a scarcity of politicians. Why would a person be a congressman or a senator anyway? Money is always the issue here. Seldom do they run for these positions because of genuine desire to serve the people. I guess it's one of the reasons why our country never progresses. But there is always hope. As Rizal would say it only takes civic consciousness and a national identity for a country to be really independent. And when each and every Filipino share those two qualities, there is more than hope. That itself is a solution.

Sympathy

2004-11-24T23:48:00.000+08:00

I had a long and exhausting day. This afternoon our group (there were 10 of us) visited one of the AKAP Bata daycare centers in Tondo, Manila. After dropping down in Divisoria we walked along narrow streets packed full with crowds of people. People where everywhere. There were street vendors to my right and jeepneys were passing on my left. It was claustrophopic. We had to walk in a line following Ms. Percy as to avoid the hustle and bustle of the area. Given the fact that there are a lot of snatchers in the Philippines we were extremely cautious of surroundings. Somehow it reminded me of Souq back in Abu Dhabi. Vendors where everywhere selling every kind of goods imaginable. I even caught sight of a stall selling sex toys. Isn't that illegal here? But then again nothing really is illegal here. People will find ways to break the law no matter the consequences. Take piracy for example. In that area alone there were dozens of vendors selling pirated DVDs and VCDs. People will do anything just to make a living. Who can blame them? It's a jungle out there. Everybody needs to do something to survive.

We walked a long distance and before long we were standing in front of a house built under a bridge. At first I thought that we were at the teacher's house and would discuss the program there before heading out to the daycare center. I later found out that the cramped space inside the house was actually the daycare center itself. Ms. Percy said that she had thirty students. There were ten of us and we were already having a hard time breathing inside. I couldn't imagine twenty more staying under the same roof. Anyway after settling down we discussed certain issues concerning the children who attend in the center. That's when I found out that we weren't dealing with public school children but rather children whose parents can't even afford sending them to a public school. According to the teacher the children and their parents were "the poorest among the poor." One of the kids didn't have parents to support him anymore. Why? Because his father, a drug addict, was shot and died, while his mother, also a drug addict, is locked up behind bars. To whom does he go to? Unfortunately no one. He feeds only when generous people offer him food. He's half-naked and he doesn't even have a birth certificate. He's literally a non-existent citizen of the RP.

Our group's role in the daycare center is to come up with a Christmas program for the kids. We discussed the things that we need, the solicitations that we had to do, and the preparations we have to prepare. All of this so that we could somehow even just for a day, make the young ones happy. I could remember the faces of the kids as we left the area. One raised his hand asking for a high-five. I gave him one and the others started asking the same thing. As I walked away they were telling me, "Kuya, wag kang umalis." There was also this kid holding a plastic wrapper of an ice candy shouting as I turned my back, "Kuya wag mo akong iwanan. Babalik ka ha?!" I was heart-broken for a minute. No matter how much I pity them, I knew that pity won't help. At least we're doing an effort to make them happy even if it's just a while. I hope things would go well during the Christmas party on December 8.

On a jeep, as I reminisce on the innocent faces I saw just a while ago, a realization dawned on me on how lucky I am. I'm studying in one of the best academe in the country, enjoying the pleasures of life, and I have my parents to support me all the way. The others were not that fortunate, but is it their fault? Why do people have to suffer this way? Why does life have to be so unfair? I may never be able to answer these questions but I do know this. Hope is out there; and for as long as we continue to hope, our dreams are not that far-off. Dreams.... it's what keeps most of us alive today. If only we could rest in peaceful slumber, not afraid of waking up. If only we could dream for eternity..... that my friend is a dream in itself.

Bus Trip

2004-11-22T20:25:00.000+08:00

Cavite has the best south bound provincial buses. Compared with the other south bound buses and those that go to Las Pinas, Cavite's buses is luxury defined... 60% of buses that is.

This morning I rode on the crappiest bus I have ever sat (or even stood) on. Its greasy and worn down facade is nothing compared to its interior. Let's just say there's not enough breathing space, it really stinks inside, and there's not enough leg room between the seats. Also, the three seaters on the bus are really meant for two and a half people. The guy who gets the last half would have to bear sitting on a single butt cheek with the other hanging losely on the other side. It gets worst, what if the people who sit on the same row as you are fat? You'd be supporting your whole body weight on a tiny portion of your butt cheek using only your legs for balance. Sino ba naman ang di mangangalay dito e isang oras ang biyahe mula Maynila hanggang Cavite. The last time I rode on this bus I was the guy who gets half a seat, bearing the agony the entire trip. Well at least they offer student discounts and they don't play Love Radio on their systems. "Kailangan pa bang imemorize yan?" Arghhhhh I hate that station.

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As I walked out of the school gate I saw Ms. Pangindian so I ran up to her asking the results of my removals. She told me that she still hasn't checked it because back then I still didn't have the permit. She also said that I shouldn't worry because there's a great possibility that I have passed the exam. That's a relief. I still have to wait for the results though before I could rejoice. I was looking for a bus (avoiding the one mentioned up there) by now on taft street and just a few yards from me stood Ms. Pangindian and another math professor, who according to conspiracists, is actually her girlfriend. We all got on the same Cavite bound bus and it's quite obvious that my former math professor lives in Cavite (with her girlfriend nyahaha!!!).

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Medicated

2004-11-20T19:29:00.000+08:00

After 2 days on medication I have finally recovered from fever and the allergic reactions I have with mosquito bites. Actually the fever happened right after I posted about the mosquito issue. It frightened me to say the least because I thought I had dengue. I had all the symptoms: high fever, chills, headache, back pain, etc. I read about this disease, it could make a person really weak and it usually takes weeks for a person recovering from dengue to regain his strength.

That morning we went to the doctor for a diagnosis on my illness. To my relief she said that the allergy caused by the mosquito bite and the fever are seperate entities. They are not related to each other. The most likely cause of my fever, according to her, is UTI. So for that she gave me antibiotics and some paracetamols to kill the pain. For the allergy she prescribe antihistamines. I had to take this pills at a regular time interval and in a day I consume 9 pills. They are effective though. The following morning I was feeling all better already. I wanted to go to school but then again the doctor advised that I give myself a 5 day resting period. I don't want to make things worst so I just stayed in bed.

Today I'm all well. I even attended my PI 100 class. First thing I noticed when the students started to come in was that I was the youngest among them. They were graduating students, save ate Lee and her batchmates who are only third year students. Good thing ate Lee is my classmate because I would totally feel OP in the classroom. We didn't have a formal lesson because Sir Esguerra was busy with his charity work for Panginuhod. We just took attendance and Esguerra gave us an orientation on the subject. PI 100 is like a continuation of History 1. Without a good foundation on History 1, you will have a hard time with Rizal. How lucky of me to have been under Esguerra's History 1 class.

Anyway just for the record, it kinda occurred to me the thought of me dying. Not that i'm afraid to die but it's just that I feel my life here on earth is still incomplete. There are still many things that I have to learn and experience. A lot of people I know of are afraid of death itself, I on the other hand am afraid of dying without leaving a legacy. I want to die knowing that I have made a change and that when I see Christ in heaven He would embrace me and say "Well done my good and faithful servant."

Strip #1

2004-11-19T16:58:00.000+08:00

Form 5

2004-11-17T18:50:00.000+08:00

Finally I got my schedule finalized this afternoon. The timings are great but the bad news is I have a Saturday class. The good thing about it is that it's sir Esguerra's PI 100 and my sister shares the same class with me. Though I've never experienced being classmates with any of my sisters, they(Ateleejoyce) spent more than a decade together in the same classes. Having a sibling as your classmate is such a big advantage. Bad stuff aside, you could share notes or help each other out. And to think that most of the students enrolled in that class are graduating students I wouldn't mind having someone I know with me on that class. PI 100 with my sister would definitely be interesting.

Anyway this is my schedule:

Mondays and Thursdays
Math 1 (MHD) 11:30a - 1:00p
Comm II (MHG2) 2:30p - 4:00p

Tuesdays and Fridays

Nat Sci II (TFA2) 7:00a - 8:30a
History II (TFD1) 11:30a - 1:00p
SocSci II (TFE) 1:00p - 2:30p

Wednesdays
NSTP (LTS) 9:00a - 12:00p
PE2 Table Tennis (WEG) 1:00p - 3:00p

Saturdays
PI 100 (SBC) 8:30a - 11:30a

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Does a mosquito have a preference when choosing its victim?

I have been a victim countless times by these pests. Oddly enough, I have observed that they prefer to feed on me. Why? Well in a class of twenty-four students I am the only one who gets bitten. In an effort to provide an explanation I looked around the ever so helpful internet and come up with the following generalizations.

#1 Mosquitoes, according to the National Geographic Channel, prefer the color blue
- I wear a blue tshirt every now and then but they still bite even though I wear a different colored t.

#2 According to some people, mosquitoes prefer sweet blood.
- So they're saying that my blood taste better than others? Could be...

#3 Female mosquitoes, according to Encarta, generally feed on blood while the male feed on plant juices.
- Hehe I like this one. You draw the generalization for this :)

My point is I get a mosquito bite every now and then. Like vampires they stalk on their victims and then they suck the precious plasma out of their body. You wouldn't know that they were there. You would only realize when you see the mark. Moments after the bite, the toxins from their saliva makes the bite area swell and itchy. I can handle this but if they're all over your body, well it's another story.

Last night I woke up and my body was swelling all over with these marks. My hand was swollen up and I was itching all over. This happened a lot of times before but today was different. It was all over my body (exaggerated). I tried not to think about it because the more I scratch the more itchy it becomes and the more it swells. At least the swelling died down and I got to sleep peacefully. This afternoon however it came back and if last night was bad, today was worst. My parents told me to get a doctor's opinion on it right now. I didn't want to because all I know is that this is an allergic reaction because of the consequent bites from the mosquitoes.

After bitten many times there are two things that could possibly happen to a person. He/she could become immune to the bite or he/she could develop an allergic reaction to it. I thought I was the latter. I was stubborn enough to know that I'm right that I hesitated at first to get a doctor's opinion. In my observations it all starts with a bite and it gradually it turns to this uncontrolable nuisance. But I have to obey my parents.

Our relative who lives just nearby is a doctor. When we asked her opinion she said that it was an 'allergic reaction'. So I'm right but she said that it couldn't have possibly come from mosquitoes. "Why not?" I asked myself. She said that it could have been from caterpillars (which I highly doubt because there are no green plantations around me) or from pollen brought by the wind. That's when I realized that a majority of allergic reactions come from pollen in the wind. No wonder I sometimes used to itch all over when I was way back in Abu Dhabi. But this was different. It's itchiness with swollen red marks all over my body. And to think that sometimes I can feel the bite of the mosquito itself before I have the rashes I'm not entirely convinced. Anyway she gave me pills that will deal with the allergy. I have to try this for some time to see if it works. Well if not then it only means one thing... the mosquito is the culprit... I have to blame it all on those pests.

It's raining hard and whenever it...

rains > breeding places for the pests appear > mosquitoes are born > mosquito bites > I rant about the bites on my blog... :)

(PS: To my parents - Sorry if I have to be stubborn about this. I have my beliefs and when I think I'm right I'll hold on to that. But I'm only human and I do make mistakes. At least Mom and Dad I get to learn from them. Don't worry too much about me. It's great to know that you guys are concerned about my health and for that I can't thank you enough. I love you mom and dad. I am so blessed that God gave me earthly parents like you. You guys are the best! Luv yah)

Deviance

2004-11-16T18:43:00.000+08:00

I finally got an account in deviantart.com!

Check it out at : zephyr02 (click the link)

I was inspired by the creativity of some of the artists and photographers at the site that I spend this past week learning about photo manip on Adobe Photoshop. Haha, I'm loving my newfound hobby.

Can't wait to get my hands on dad's SLR camera.

Still

2004-11-15T21:12:00.000+08:00

If a picture could a paint a thousand works, this basically sums up my encounter with God on top of prayer mountain.

The Skinny Issue

2004-11-13T18:28:00.000+08:00

After browsing through a forum that dealt with "weight gain" I found out that there are a lot of people who share the same problem as I have. I could totally relate with thier posts about people calling them anorexic where in fact they are just normal people who have a hard time gaining weight. I don't understand why it's rude to tell a fat person that he/she is fat, while making snide remarks about the skinny physique of other people is not. I had my share of embarassments. I got used with comments like "You look like a toothpick" or "You're so thin. Are they feeding you?". But later I found out that they prayed for me in church because of my physique. Sheesh. This has got to stop. I better gain some weight or else I'll be ridiculed by a lot of people.

Food is not an issue. I eat whenever I can. When there's food on the table I eat. Whenever I'm outside or in Robinsons Place I eat. I eat food that dieticians wouldn't even consider touching. But after 2 weeks I only gained a lousy kilo. People normally complain about how fat they are but now right before you is an example of the minority who rant about their skinny physique.

Maybe it's just because I have a higher metabolism rate than normal people that even though I am consistent in stacking up the carbos my body just quickly turns it to energy. You gain a pound today, you'll lose it tomorrow. It's every girl and every other body-conscious people's dream. It is my nightmare.

My family is behind me in my quest to gain weight. Come to think of it they're the one's who started this "skinny issue". Every day I would get emails from my parents telling me that "Son, you'll look a lot better if you're a bit fat." My mom even sends recipes of my favorite meals so that my sister could cook them for me. I appreciate their concern but they overdo it sometimes.

I'm totally commited to gaining weight. I have a height of 5'8" right now and I weigh 55 kilos. That's 9 kilos short of the ideal weight for my height. Nine kilos... how hard could that be? Gorging yourself on Big Macs every now and then would do the trick.

Anyway I have the will and the fortitude to get there. Okay, I go to go now. Still have to attend the birthday party of my cousin and you know here in the Philippines whenever you have birthdays di mawawala ang handaan . It's chow time... nyahahaha!!!

The Abstract Zephyr

2004-11-12T13:02:00.000+08:00

The INCREDIBLES

2004-11-11T22:25:00.000+08:00

I watched The Incredibles with my sister and ate Avi after classes were over. Before the movie started we got to watch a short animation, usually done by Pixar in all their movies, about a sheep that learned to get through his downs in life by bouncing and bouncing his worries away... it was something like that. Anyway my sister could totally relate with the movie. You'll know why when you visit her blog.

The Incredibles is just like any other superhero flick. You have your villains and of course your heroes who in this movie are the Supers. They are the typical family who lives in the suburbs trying to make a living after the government has decided to isolate the superheroes from the public. Being superheroes, living a normal life is not easy and so goes the story. Even though it was intended as a family film, I personally don't think little children should watch it because first of all there are lots of scenes that portray graphic violence. Also you have words like "mediocrity" and "suffice" in the dialogue between Mr. and Mrs. Incredible. Man, a month ago I didn't even know that words like those exist. I could imagine a 5 year old kid scratching his head asking, "Mom, what does mediocrity mean? Is it some kind of a vegetable?" And the mom replying, "No dear, it means medyo madamot... medio - crity." Did you get it? Haha, di ko rin gets e. (zephyr wishes to apologize in his corny attempt to prove out his point)

Anyway we had our share of laughs in this movie but I find Finding Nemo more humorous than The Incredibles. Bottom-line is that it teaches the viewers that responsibility towards your own family should always come first.

Thought(s) for the day:
- Contrary to popular belief, metrosexuals, a word commonly used in the Philippines to describe guys who indulge themselves over their personal vanity, is actually a term synonymous to gay people. According to our professor Joey Ogatis (who by the way is our professor again in Comm II) metrosexual is actually a euphemism of homosexual. It is being gay said in a less harsh word. Come to think of it, UP has lots of them metrosexuals. :)

- I ate one of the best burgers I ever had in my entire life at Wendy's Burgers. For a price of P 125 you would ask yourself if it's worth it. I tell you IT IS WORTH IT. Advertisements tend to exaggerate their products but not in Wendy's Burgers. What you see is what you get. Their fries are so long and big that it makes the fries of every other fast food chain look like ants. It's uber delicious. Its quality and quantity paid for a "worth it" price.

Grunge Art

2004-11-10T23:58:00.000+08:00

After reading several article on the internet about photo manipulation I finally came up with a version of a grunge bordered photograph of myself. Check it out folks :)

Of Haircuts and Classes

2004-11-09T19:46:00.000+08:00

The secret to a good haircut is when your hairstyle fits perfectly with your face that no one would notice you had your hair cut. People, especially those who get to see you everyday, could be very accustomed with the way you look that a radical transformation in hairstyle is often frowned upon. Fortunately for me only a few people noticed that I cut my hair short, AGAIN. Or maybe they were just being kind not to blurt out that I was having a bad hair day. The only comment I ever had when I went to school was from Jessy, who upon seeing me smiled and said, "Uy, bakit ka nagpagupit?" I don't know what to make of her question. To me it sounded more like a statement. It was more like "You cut your hair?! It doesn't look good on you." But then every question deserves an answer and with a rather shallow logic I told her that well my hair was long so I needed to cut it short.

Today marked the start of classes. While everyone was busy checking out their room assignments I was minding my own business checking out the available schedules. Things would be a lot easier for me if I knew my grade in Math but sad to say my professor hasn't even checked my removal exam. Apparently she is enjoying her vacation and has not yet returned to her department where in her box lies my permit that gives me the right to know the result of my removals. There are only two possible outcomes, it's either a 3.0 or a 5. Passing Math 11 would relieve me of a burden to take the course all over again. Failing would do so otherwise. As a result of me not knowing my grade in Math, I have to cancel my Chemistry and Physics subject because Math 11 is a pre-requisite of the said subjects. Whether I pass or fail I do not plan to take up these subjects because as I said earlier, I am shifting to another course and apparently Chemistry and Physics are not accredited in their curriculum. Taking them up is just a waste of time.

With Chemistry and Physics cancelled, I have three subjects amounting to 9 units left in my Form 5A. The minimum number of units one can take is 15 so I have to fill up the gap with a lot of GE subjects that could be credited in the PolSci curriculum. I finally decided to take up Nat Sci 4 (Geology), PI 100 (Life and Works of Rizal), and Histo II (The History of Asia). All that is left of me to do is to find a non-conflicting schedule for these subjects, enlist them, and after that I'm done! I like to note that for the last two subjects mentioned above I am pursuing to get professor Esguerra's classes. Terror as he might seem, he taught me how to think critically about anything and everything. His profound views and thoughts have challenged me in every way. In him I can say that I tasted what UP is really like. I am looking forward to be in his classes. It would be a great honor.

Supersize Me... continued

2004-11-06T13:35:00.000+08:00

I woke up 2 kilos lighter than yesterday. How can someone lose two kilograms overnight? My sisters would die for an ability like this. O well, better stack up on the carbos. I'm targeting to gain 5 kilos by the end of this month.

Last night I got to chat with some of my friends back in AUH. One of them told me that everyone in PNS, even the teachers, read a copy of one of my post. It made me wonder how they got the link of my site because I never shared my blog with anybody else except my family. No harm done. It's just that the world doesn't need to know about my ramblings on life. But what she said to me yesterday I was convinced otherwise. NO need to elaborate on that though. It's our secret.

I've been spending more time with my guitar nowadays. I'm getting quite good at it. Big thanks to powertabs.net. For me it's the best site by far for guitar tabs. Not only does it provides the tabs but also the notes. You have to download their software to view the tabs.

I better go back to supersizing myself. I think I need a haircut... I definitely need a haircut!

Supersize Me!!!

2004-11-05T01:50:00.000+08:00

Sem break's finally over. In 3 days i'll be back in the same hallways, attending the dreaded classes, and meeting the requirements our new professors would expect of us. After all of this is over I will give myself a well deserved pat in the back.

I got my Form 5A but I still have to take up late registration. I have finally decided that Dentistry is not my calling. It never was though. I wanted to study IT but too bad UP doesn't offer one. ComSci is equally good but considering that I have to take 27 units of Math for the whole course, no thanks! The alternative.... Political Science. I never cared about politics before. In my younger days I thought of politicians as liars and frankly a lot of them are still now. But living here in a politically ridden country, I had second thoughts. My history professor, yet again, is all to blame. He enforced into me the desire to learn more about the system. I've always asked myself, "What made the Philippines turn out like this?" Too all it is easily answerable by corrupt politicians, a faltering economy, lack of good leadership, and a lot more. But I want to find out the root of the cause. This is something alot of people are ignorant of and frankly I am too. So there goes my interest. Expect me to become a future politican someday... well maybe not!

Sem break was fun. I slept, channel surfed, read books, then slept some more. It can't get more productive than that. Can't wait for next sem break to come.

Sheikh Zayed died, Bush won, Kerry Lost, and I am still awake at 1:24 in the morning. I'll be dozing off in 3 - 2 - 1....

zZzZzz (*The author is currently sleeping and will go back online tomorrow afternoon, sorry for the inconvenience)

This Is Your Life

2004-10-31T20:51:00.000+08:00

This is your life, are you who you want to be?
This is your life, are you who you want to be?
This is your life, is it everything you dream that it would be
When the world was younger and you had everything to lose
Switchfoot

This is my life... uncertain and bleak. I had everything I could ever wish for but it all seemed to go away. I would normally tell you that everything's just changing around me. But I got so caught up observing the world around me that I looked past myself and never really got to see me change.

Life could be so cruel. The harsh realities of it just overwhelm me. One minute you're happy, moments later you're sad. The preacher said this morning that God has His ways in catching our attention and that He is patient doing so. He'll do whatever it takes. He got Moses' attention after forty years. He got mine in a day.

I had it all but as the impermanence of this world goes I soon lost it. People that I've cared for my whole life are leaving me. Do I deserve this? Maybe I do. At least I still have my family. At least I'm secured knowing that they'll never leave me. If they do... then I'm certain that my life is really messed up.

It took a lot of heartbreaks and heartaches for God to catch my attention but eventually He did. Suddenly I found myself running back to Him seeking refuge, comfort, and strength.

"The problem with us is that we focus too much on the problem, but if we look past the problem we would find the solution." I looked past my problem and I saw God. I have wasted a lot of my thoughts in finding MY solution to the problem that I never really asked God to help me. Pride and ignorance hindered me from seeking His face. I thought I could do this all by myself but my body's weak and my spirit's frail.

God gave me a reason to smile amidst my problems because in Him I find hope. And hope is the one thing that I'm holding on too.

Everything will be fine. Everything will be okay. It's all I could hope for.

Resound

2004-10-30T01:33:00.000+08:00

We just got home from the Mainplace Convenarium where a concert took place. It featured Sunny Conde and the Ethereal Band and Dennis Chua. The setup was astonishing. Stalactite structures were hanged from the ceiling and spotlights flooded the area. In addition to that, there were two projectors that gave the disco light effect. This is the first time I witnessed a live concert.

I am a sucker for live concerts. Being a musician, I enjoy watching other musicians play their instruments. The band was great. It had percussions, a bass player, a keyboardist, a sax player, a guy with the blues guitar (he reminds me of the guy in Misteryo), and of course a talented singer who by the way is the daughter of the senior pastor of Crossroads 77. The whole concert brought us back in the age of the 60s, 70s, 80s, all the way up to the 90s. We got to experience a sample of music from each decade that has passed. They had a jazz/blues setup and they sounded great. At one point during the show Susan Conde approached the audience looking for someone to sing with her. I noticed that she was looking at my direction. At that moment I knew she was coming for me so I looked down eliminating any eye contact with her. Sadly though she approached me and asked me to stand up. She commented on my physique and said "Kawawa ka naman, siguro di ka pinapakain noh?" With a spotlight on my face all I could do was smile wishing that she would turn away and find somebody else to victimize. She asked me if I could sing. I hesitated and said no even though I knew I could (You have to cover your ears though). To my delight she turned on to Naniel. Thank God that was over.

At some point during the show they sang a song by The Carpenters and I was transfixed by the music. Needless to say I am a hopeless romantic. Hopeless... well to certain degree, yes... but romantic nonetheless. Those are the kind of songs that make me all tingled up inside. Most of what they played were oldies... classics rather. I barely know some of them. But on the later portion of the concert they started singing songs of my generation. They did a cover on Alanis Morissete's Uninvited. I love that song. It has a creepy vibe to it but they did it so well I had goose bumps all over my body. They also played Tamia's Officially Missing You. The last song they did was from one of my favorite artists, Alicia Keys' If I Ain't Got You.

When the band ended, Dennis Chua came in and provided the place with house music. He is one of the pioneering DJs in the country and once he got the beat started everyone was rocking their heads. Suddenly the lights went off and the disco lights turned on. The whole place was reminiscent of my HS prom nights except we were at church. Yes, at first it seems uncomfortable grooving your way in a place of worship. But then again we were also reaching out to a lot of nonbelievers. I like the church's concept of the 21st century approach to evangelism. It may be radical and seem outright crazy but I think it's a whole lot effective in reaching out to others in a more subtle way. Instead of asking the nonCs the two diagnostic questions and scare the hell out of them by stating that if they don't receive Christ they would go to hell they can offer a much more subtle approach like this concert.

I forgot to mention that Pastora Anne gave the message during the halftime of the show. Her message was simple yet profound. After a brief history on music she goes on to conclude that unless we find our North we will never find our direction in life. God is our North. In the past the African slaves sang blues as a way to send out cryptic messages which would lead them to the north where eventually they would find their freedom. Our freedom and salvation from eternal damnation comes from seeking the North in our lives.

Back to the event... the beat was thumping and everyone was clearing the way and the remainder of the night was spent with dancing. Not everyone danced. Soon as Dennis Chua got on stage much of the people were leaving. Apparently they didn't like techno or even listen to Moby. I would leave because it seems odd dancing in church but then again this was different. Surprisingly ate Eva got on the center and started dancing. Boy was she one party girl. After that the youth began to gather around teasing each other to dance. Soon after everyone was swaying but none was really dancing. Timid people... tsk tsk tsk. Who can blame them? I can't even get my feet to move. My body was shivering from the extreme cold and my eardrums are aching from the noise. But I got the hang of it. I started to enjoy it. As I said, it reminded me of prom night. I even took my sister and we danced swing. I may be rusty in dancing but I was still good at it. The night didn't seem to end but unfortunately we had to go home. Kuya EJ and ate Eva were offering us a ride back to our place. We eventually got home safe and sound. What a night to resound... reverberate... and resonate!!! (They are all synonymous by the way)

Insomnia

2004-10-29T16:39:00.000+08:00

After setting the thermostat of the AC to a tolerable temperature I got into bed hoping to doze off into semi-conscious bliss. Instead, I ended up staring blankly at the ceiling. I can't get myself to sleep so I decided to check up on Crescense. She was still sleeping. I sat down on the couch for a while watching Power Zone and then got back up. It was already early morning and yet I couldn't get myself to sleep so whilst under my covers I played Snake on my cell. Game after game I ended up dying without reaching the 800 marker. I used to be good at this but then again I'm getting older. After numerous resets I grew tired of playing so later I indulge myself by listening to the numerous ring tones in my cell. Satisfied, after hearing 30 monotones played over and over again, I placed my mobile down beside me and closed my eyes.

3:00 a.m. - I was already in the dream world when suddenly Crescense started crying. I was expecting this to happen because for two days this has been her routine. She would wake up, do her thing, sniff around, yelp... and then yelp some more. She would stop once she gets tired then she'll go back to sleep. I waited for her yelping to stop. It did actually quite sooner then I expected. Again I dozed off to dream world.

5:00 a.m. - Sad-eyed pup began to cry again and this time she won't stop. Her sharp cry kept ringing in my head and I was quite annoyed because I hadn't had sufficient sleep yet. In my mind I kept saying, "Shut up! Shut up! Shut up!" It came to a point that I cried those words aloud. She kept on going so I decided to bear the situation and try to sleep.

These happens every after a two hour interval and she's very consistent at it. At first I figured that she was crying because she's looking for her mother. I was wrong. Her crying could only mean one thing, bathroom check. What is it with dogs and the places they frequent to excrete their excrements. I understand their need to mark their territory but why not do it on a newspaper and make our lives so much easier. I later realized that we can't complain about these things because when we adopted the puppy we took on a responsibility. It's like having a baby. You need to nurture, care, and train it. Come to think of it, maybe Crescense could teach me a thing or two on parenthood and prepare me to become a responsible adult. Well, maybe not!

The Aftermath

2004-10-28T17:02:00.000+08:00

"You have to take risks. We will only understand the miracle of life fully when we allow the unexpected to happen."

--By The River Piedra I Sat Down and Wept: by Paulo Coelho

October 25
-------------------------
A text from my blockmate woke me up.

Jc, 4 ka daw sa math. Ngyn ung remvals 10 am.

After reading it I shook my head and went back to sleep. It was already 8 in the morning and I had no plans to take my removals. I reasoned out to myself that Math will always be my weakness and what better way to learn it than to take it all up again. With that thought in my head I went back to sleep - carefree. Moments later my phone rang. I answered it. Alma was on the other line asking me if I would take the removals. I said the same excuse I gave myself but she wasn't convinced. She said that if I don't pass Math I wouldn't be able to take Physics and Chemistry this coming semester. I told her that I was planning to shift and Physics and Chemistry is not part of the PolSci curriculum so it's no use taking the removals now. Still she wasn't convinced. She told me that if I missed this one chance to get a passing grade my transcript will forever be marked. That caught my attention. Having a grade of 5 in my TOR may affect my chances in shifting to another course so I told her that I'll be on my way. I got up, changed my clothes, and without even taking breakfast I left. This would be the first time I would take an exam unprepared.

When I arrived I saw Alma, Jessy, and Paula sitting on the floor near the CAS registrar. It was 9:45 and I breathed out a sigh of relief. Just when I thought that things will be okay Alma asked, "Pare, may permit ka na ba?" I answered, "What permit?" She explained that before we could take the removals we should have a permit from the College of Dentistry. I have 15 minutes left and CD is a block away from CAS so if I want to make it on time for the removals I better start running. So I ran all the way to Taft Avenue, rode a jeep, ran a short distance to the CD, fill out some of the forms, got the permit, and finally I got on a jeep. Luckily I made it on time. Jessy and Paula were leaving when I got to the entrance. They both wished me luck. I knew I needed more than luck.

GAB 105. The proctor was already handing out the exams when I arrived. I took deep breaths and when I got the exam I browsed it over. The exam was easy compared to the previous departmental exams but considering that I didn't study it was also quite hard. It took a lot of trial and error for me to answer most of the questions. In the end logic and common sense paved the way for me to get sure answers. As I passed my paper it dawned to me the great what-ifs in life. What if I never took the exam? I surely would have missed my chance and in the end I would be left with a deep sense of regret. Good thing though I took it. I have Alma, my ever so kindred friend, to thank for.

October 26
-------------------------
Crescense. She's got the saddest eyes I've ever seen. When I first met her I asked her, "Why do you cry?" She looked on as if she never heard a word I said.

October 27
-------------------------
We decided to let Crescense sleep in my room and for two nights she kept me awake. She wakes up ever other hour and then she yelps waking me up from my slumber. I have to watch over her untill she goes back to sleep. We bonded though in these past few nights. I would scratch her behind her ear singing a lullaby as I lulled her to sleep. Sleep. In a 24 hour time span, 14 of it she spends sleeping. She reminds me of myself. If you ask my sisters they would tell you that we are so alike. Maybe that's why I feel a connection with her. Who knows?

The dilemmas we find ourselves in...

2004-10-22T22:32:00.000+08:00

Time is fleeting. You wake up facing a day so much different from the others. Everything and everyone in this world is changing. Change - it is the only permanent thing in our mortal lives.

A day before I woke up a year older. People do not grow younger. We age, we grow, and we mature. The fountain of youth is but a myth rekindled by people who wish to relive their younger days. We look back at the path we threaded and we smile. We took on a journey... climbing every mountain and overcoming every obstacle in our path. Life is an adventure... a journey. It drives you through the lands of eternity, over the mountains of struggle, past the pits of sadness, and finally down the rivers of happiness. We take each path searching for a purpose, a reason, a dream. And for every stumble and victory that we take we learn something new.

I've learned a lot in sixteen years. I learned that for every river of happiness there's always a sea of sorrow. For every heart beating there is always a flame of passion burning and that for every heart broken there will always be an ocean of tears flowing. In a belief of a perfect world we tend to deny that bad things could happen. But then again duality on earth is mundane. For every pleasant good there is an equal and opposite unpleasant bad. Good thing though that in times of the unpleasant bad there are people you could count on... special people... people that matter in your life.

October 20. I've been receiving txt messages from different people the night before. Most of them were from my block mates. It was odd because none of my high school friends, save Julie, texted me. I thought they forgot. But I can't blame them because even I myself don't know the dates of their birthdays. A month ago my sisters and I were planning to organize a sleepover/gathering of my high school friends here in Cavite on my birthday. But we weren't really that serious about it because we lack the money and thought that it was impossible. I was alone all by myself that fateful morning on my birthday. Solitude. Good thing though my bestfriend came to accompany me.

My sisters meanwhile were in SM Bacoor. They arrived with Goldilocks plastic bags. I asked them why they bothered to buy tons of food when nobody's coming to eat them all up. The just shrugged their shoulders and said "Sus, problema ba yan. Di imbitahin ung mga taga church." They placed the food on the table and once everything was set up Jezi and I decided to eat. We stayed in my room eating pancit and palabok, supposedly for long health, and fried chicken. A few hours later I decided to go down to check up on ate Leeann. As I walked down the stairs and looked past the railings I saw someone familiar. I thought to myself "It couldn't be... nah it's not him." Further down the stairs, I finally saw them enter one by one. I couldn't believe what I was seeing. These were the people I grew up with during my high school days and they were all here for my birthday. Surprised and happy, those were my very feelings. Later they explained that Julie planned all of these, she even texted my classmates one by one begging them to come. Unfortunately Ryan, Ruel, Roselie, and EJ were in Abu Dhabi so they couldn't come. Those who came were Julie, Dorevie, Joyce, Irwin, MJ, and VJ. I wasn't totally expecting this. Even my sisters and Jezi were all part of the master plan to surprise me. They succeeded because I was more than surprised. A little later through the night we went to SM to pick up Kuje. VJ has to go home because she wasn't allowed to sleep over but the rest were staying for a day at my house.

The morning after, actually early early morning at around 1:00 am, we were all still up watching Troy. It made us reminisce of the time we portrayed the heroes of the war in a school play wherein the boys acted the girls and the girls the boys. The play was hilarious. Imagine Jezi, Mike, and Richard as the 3 goddesses fighting for the golden apple... if that wouldn't make you laugh nothing else will. After the movie the girls decided to sleep. Meanwhile the rest of us boys watched yet another movie, this time Shrek 2. When the film ended Mike and I went to my room to catch some shut-eye. Irwin was already sleeping in the couch but Kuje and Mj still wanted to watch The Day After Tomorrow. Hours later, while everybody slumbered; Mike, Mj, and I were still awake. I was all alone sitting by the stairs while Mike and Mj were in my room conversing with each other. I couldn't sleep even though my brain was forcing my eyes to shut. I was contemplating on a dilemma I was facing.

Amidst great happiness I was facing a big dilemma. It was something I got to share with only a few people. I remember when my professor in History said that love comes in three stages. The first stage is when people fall in love but not with the person you love but rather with the feeling of being in love - the feeling that keeps you high up in the clouds, floating, desiring, wishing to live through forever with your significant other. The second stage is when you fall out of love. The third, the decision, the stage when one decides to forsake the past and love the person for who he/she is and to be with them for the rest of his/her life.

I've been past the first and now I'm facing the second. My dilemma. There was no way out of this situation. I had to make the critical decision of staying or breaking our relationship. It's a Lose-Lose situation. Either way the consequences wouldn't be good. But I have to make the decision. Staying in a relationship where the love you feel is gone will only hurt you both. Breaking up will only do the same. I didn't sleep thinking about it. The sadness and the guilt that I felt inside took over me and at that moment every attempt that I took to come up with rational alternative failed. I had to do the latter. I was looking for the perfect time to break it up to her but it just didn't seem to come. That afternoon I took a leap of fate and approached her; the girl whom I loved and promised to cherish forever. Promises were never meant to be broken but the moment I sat down with her I knew promises would be broken and sooner or later tears will be shed.

The room was dark. Music streamed from the speakers and it filled the entire room. I swear I could feel her heartbeat race but maybe it was just mine. I took her hand, placed it on my chest and said, "Nawawala na." She looked away and understood everything that was happening with just two words - words that I never planned to say. We were silent and I could feel a drop of tear fall down my cheek. I wanted to reason out. I wanted to explain everything but finally I said that I wanted to start over. She knew that this was coming and I could feel the pain that she felt. The burden of guilt was on me and it was pulling me down. I'm letting go of a girl who loved me so much, even more than herself. That all she ever wanted was to make me happy. Hard as it seems it's a decision that I have to make to save us from the biggest heartache of all - staying in a pseudo-quasi relationship where love is but a dying leaf separated from its branch slowly fluttering to the ground.

We learned our lessons. We let ourselves fall in love with love itself. At first everything was real but things change. The impermanence of feelings took over and reality suddenly slapped me its premonition. Tears were falling from her eyes. I could kiss her tears but I didn't. My weary eyes were filled with sorrow but it refused to cry. She cried for me. After all this I asked her if she was ok. She said yes but I knew she was lying. None of us were okay. I stood up, took her hand, raised her up, and gave her a hug. As we hug our feet started moving and after a few minutes we were dancing. We danced in the darkness and I started singing Tony Bennet's song. We danced as if there was no tomorrow. We danced as if nothing happened. We danced our worries away. We danced as it were our last. And it was. When it was all over I smiled at her- she smiled back.

None of us uttered a word while we were on the bus going to Manila. She took my hand and I clasped hers. We both knew it was over. We both knew that every moment that we had with each other will just be a dream we once dreamt together. We thought our dreams would last for all eternity but suddenly reality woke us up with his song. As we neared Manila's city hall I whispered to her, "Don't ever forget me." She replied with a big smile on her face, "I won't, tetxt nga kita lagi e."

When we got down we started walking. I asked her if we made the right decision and she replied that it's for the better. As we walk we talked about anything and everything. Random thoughts poured out of our mouths and we were enjoying every moment of it. We may not be lovers anymore but we're still friends, the best of friends. Love doesn't last that long but friendship will. Experience taught me that. While we walked I told her that I love her, she understood what I said and she told me that she loves me too. We laughed. . It was ironic how both of us were happy and sad all at the same time. I started singing the chorus of rainbow...

Take a little time baby
See the butterfly's colors
Listen to the birds that was sent to sing for me and you
Even if there is pain now
Everything will be alright
For as long as the world still turns there will be night and day
There's a rainbow always after the rain.

She sang with me. The song we once shared we were singing for the one last time. As we approached the loading station of jeepneys, something inside me is forcing me not to let go of her hand. I know she felt the same way too but it was time. We had to say our goodbyes. Before she entered the jeep I hugged her and kissed her on her cheeks. She returned the favor and kissed me back. I wanted to stay but I started walking away. Walking away... I hope this would be my last.

A love story was written... and in it words turned into sentences then to paragraphs... soon pages were written and chapters grew from them... but it was time that it ended. The final sentence was marked by a dot and the book was closed. Only God knows when it will open again.

This by far has been the longest post I have ever made in my blog and I guess it would stay this way for quite some time. I'll end with a cliche... Like it or not, either way you'll get one...

"To live is to love.... to love is to hurt.... to hurt is to live..."

Sick and Bored

2004-10-18T18:18:00.000+08:00

Sick. Just as I thought that a pill of Biogesic would do me well, my stuffed nose and inflamed throat proved me wrong. I have been in this condition for the past four days and there are no signs of improvement ever since. It started as a mild pain in my throat eventually turning into a cold and finally a mixture of both. Tissues are consumed every minute and by now I would have used up at least 3 boxes of tissues. This is not new to me. Ever since I was a kid I had trouble breathing through my nose. My parents brought me to the clinic and doctors diagnosed me of having sinusitis and adenoids. They were opting for operation but we didn't go for it. Eventually it all disappeared. But after that I was more vulnerable to other diseases especially the common colds. Having colds may not be life-threatening like cancer, ebola, or even HIV, but it is annoying... very annoying. First it clogs your nose forcing you to breath through your mouth. Second, it leaves your tongue senseless and everything you eat tasteless. And lastly it makes your life a whole lot more miserable because of the said reasons. Scientists have made a lot of medical breakthroughs these past few years but still they haven't found the cure for the simple, yet dreaded disease... the common colds. Let's just hope that genetic engineering and the technological advancements in the field of medicine would help find a way to eradicate this nuisance. But they say prevention is better than cure. Stocking up on Vitamin C would have prevented my colds but then again it's too late. By now I should have learned my lesson. Tsk tsk tsk...

Bored. This morning I found out that our cable was gone. We issued a letter to the company to close the connection 4 months ago but it was only till now that we're finally disconnected. All that's left is the usual Channel 2, Channel 7, but thank God though we still have Studio 23 and MTV. Goodbye AXN, goodbye WWE (now I won't have the chance to see Big Show kick the crap out of Kane), goodbye Star Movies, HBO, Wowow, Movie Plus, Stage, Couch... goodbye to the Saturday movie nights, the Wednesday CSI marathons, the weekends on National Geographic and the Discovery Channel. To all the channels I ever watched, I bid you farewell and adieu

Homesick

2004-10-16T13:10:00.000+08:00

Yesterday a wave of nostalgia hit me as we walked by the streets of Ortigas. The towering high-rises, dimly lit streets, buildings under construction, and cars seemed so familiar to me. Yes, cars. You've got your Hondas, Mitsubishis, Jaguars, Fords, Toyotas, and so on. I looked on as they pass the stoplight and I felt that there was something missing. As if it was zapped out of earth, the signature vehicle of the Philippines, the jeepney, was nowhere to be found. I thought that was weird because jeepneys are supposed to be everywhere. This PUV is the preferred vehicle for transportation among the Filipino masses. But then again I was in the 'corporate world' and people have their own cars. If not, they have at least the money to pay for a cab. Everything was so reminiscent of the city I grew up with, Abu Dhabi. [hums to himself: ishi biladi..]

Abu Dhabi literally means the city of gazelles. But you won't find any gazelles in the city because they are kept in well-guarded sanctuaries. In 10 years the area has progressed from a desert wasteland to an industrialized city complete with the world's second seven-star hotel. The other is in the same country but in a different state. Kudos to the President, His Highness Sheikh Zayed Bin Sultan Al Nahyan. The country is one of the top developing, developed I should say, country in the whole world. They have the resources to progress. Underneath the desert sand lays black gold which they utilize in every imaginable way, from the world's tallest hotel to artificial islands created in the city that resembles a palm tree. Sadly, I recently found out that President Sheikh Zayed died. Although it was not yet announced publicly, people working inside his palace confirmed his death.

President Sheikh Zayed. People love this guy. Around the city you will find huge portraits of him usually with his trademark sunglasses. Yup this guy loves sunglasses. You want to know what kind of sunglasses? Check out the video 'She Will be Loved' by Maroon 5? Talk about making a fashion statement. Anyway, people really love him even the expats that really don't belong in the country. I grew to love him. Who wouldn't? I remember watching the presidential convoy as it passed by Corniche. In the middle was a long black limousine with only a digit in its license plate, the number one. Maybe it was to signify that the person seated inside the limo is 'THE ONE'. Too bad he's dead. Don't get me wrong. I am deeply saddened by what happened. But, as they say, life goes on. Obladi oblada life goes on..hmm hmm hmm. He was a good man. May God bless his soul.

Sem Break!!!

2004-10-14T15:23:00.000+08:00

7 months of Spanish Colonialism, American Imperialism, and Japanese Fascism....
7 months of outlining, precis writing, and paraphrasing...
7 months of philosophical analysis, fallacious arguments, and ethics...
7 months of stratification, mobility, and deviance...
7 months of functions, equations, and logarithms...

After 7 months of mild brain damage in UP... who wouldn't look forward to sem break... and (drum roll please) it's finally here... nyahahaha

I still have one thing to worry about before I celebrate... REMOVALS!!!

Math... the dreaded subject. Who created it anyway??? And why does it have to be so important??? How do i hate thee? Let me count the ways. I hate thee to the depth and breadth and height...yadayadayada... you get the idea.. It's the one subject I detest the most. It would have been my favorite but too bad it ain't. I bet there is a manual for math geniuses out there... sooner or later you will find me reading "The Idiots Guide to Math." It's my fault though, if only I was attentive when my HS teacher taught math I wouldn't be complaining right now.

I have failed the first and second departmental exams in Math so basically I wouldn't be so surprised if I would fail in my succeeding exams. This Wednesday we had our finals and before we started answering the questionnaire, our prof handed out the results of our third dept exam. When I got my booklet I didn't even want to look at it but I could remember taking a glimpse only to find out that..... I PASSED!!! My heart was beating fast then. It was if I witnessed a miracle. My legs wanted to jump and my lungs wanted to shout woohoo but I just smiled and thanked God. The finals is not that bad but i'm crossing my fingers and praying that God would make a miracle out of my final exam and somehow redeem me from taking the removals. I could only hope.

[Sountrip: Jason Mraz - Curbside Prophet]

Anemoi... the beginning

2004-10-11T13:40:00.000+08:00

zephyr (n) - a gentle breeze (usually refreshing)

This is my first time with blogs so forgive me if you find this site quite annoying... I started from scratch with this site... i was able to obtain a skin from blogskins.com but it was way bare... good thing though i studied html way back when i was still in Abu Dhabi... there are certain components in this site that are currently not working... for example - the links located in the top bar... they are crap... way crap... try clicking the email... guess where you'll end up??? www.hotmail.com... very useful ey??? don't worry though... this site is under development and it will undergo a lot of changes that i assure you... nywz adios for now... i still need to get a shut-eye and recharge my batts... cyah in a little while... gud am :)